Not that it mattered. I’d never do anything with Miller until I was able to talk to Matt again. I’d made Matt a promise. And a few months didn’t erase my feelings for him. It just made him feel farther away. Miller was close. That was all it was. And that’s probably what was going on with the different girls in pictures with Matt. He was just trying to not drown.
“There is one other thing,” my dad said. “I wasn’t sure whether to wait to tell you or not…but it’s important to keep you updated on the situation back home. I need you to know that I’m not putting Isabella above you. I’m going to send her away. For a while.”
I stared at him. “Like this?” At a beach house somewhere with no contact with the outside world?
“No. Not like this.” He sighed. “A psych ward. I don’t want to get your hopes up. But…I’m going to monitor her progress. I’m not making any promises. But I’m trying.”
That was definitely trying. I’d been begging him to make her go away instead of me. “Thank you.”
“Like I said, I don’t want you to get your hopes up. It’s just a first step.”
I nodded. But my hopes were a little up. In the back of my head I was thinking that if Isabella was locked up I could be free. But that wasn’t what my dad had said. I think he wanted her to get better before he released me. And I wasn’t a big believer in Isabella ever getting better. Her wanting to kill me probably wasn’t something that could be undone. I wasn’t sure there were enough psychologists in the world to untangle her mess of amind. Too bad there wasn’t a little pill that made you not a serial killer. So yeah…my hopes had been up for a second. But it was pointless. My dad wouldn’t let me leave if I wasn’t safe. And I truly believed that I wouldn’t be safe until Isabella took her last breath.
“I need to get back to the city.” My father stood up. “Unless there’s something else you need?”
“No. I’m good.”
He kissed the side of my forehead. “See you again soon, angel.”
I watched him walk away. He no longer needed his cane. He looked healthy and happy. I knew I should hate him for keeping me here. But it was hard to hate him when he was being nice to me. For a long time I wished him dead. I was glad he wasn’t now. I was glad I’d helped save him. He was the only family I had. And even though he was going about this situation all wrong…he was trying. It wasn’t his fault that he was a bad parent. Before I showed up he’d only had a psychotic daughter. If I was Isabella’s parent, surely I’d be a monster too.
I sat back down on the couch once the front door closed. It was tempting to go out on the deck with Miller. But I was still eager for more information. And I’d only been through half the pictures.
I loved seeing Kennedy and Felix happy. It was hard to tell from the pictures if they were just friends or something more. But their smiles were real. I’d hated how I left things with Kennedy. She had been my best friend. I’d betrayed her trust. And I wished I had one more chance to explain. I was just trying to help. I triednot to get teary-eyed as I saw her smiling and laughing. I was happy for her.
I flipped through a few more and my hands froze.
I’d wanted more information.
I’d wanted answers.
And there they were.
Matt wasn’t smiling at the camera in this one. He was too busy making out with some girl with brunette hair. It wasn’t Isabella. But it didn’t really matter. What mattered was that it wasn’t me. It wasn’t me and it looked a lot more like Isabella than it did me. I didn’t know what that meant. But I knew what him kissing someone else meant.
He’d moved on.
I shook my head and flipped to another picture. Another one of him and the random girl in a full-on make-out session. I didn’t care that there were red Solo cups everywhere. There was no amount of alcohol I could drink that would make me cheat on Matt.
I tried to take a deep breath.
He thinks you’re dead.
It was a good argument for his actions. But at the same time…he’d promised me the rest of his firsts. But he’d just had anotherfirst kiss with someone new. Were the promises he made to me really so easy to forget? Was I that easy to forget?
I stared at the picture.
Apparently I was.
He thinks you’re dead.
There was just one problem with that. I wasn’t dead. And my heart was broken.
***
Sometimes when I ran, I’d stop really far away from the beach house and scream at the top of my lungs. I’d scream as loud as I possibly could. But that’s when the beach was isolated. It was busier now. Someone might hear me scream and ask questions. And questions would lead to me having to move to another safehouse.
So instead of screaming, I just ran farther and farther. I ran until my legs hurt. Until I couldn’t run anymore. Until I collapsed in the sand and cried.
