“No.” I wasn’t. I just liked seeing Brooklyn’s ghost sometimes. I think I liked that thoughts of her still haunted me. As much as I wanted to move on. I felt closest to her here. “I was looking for Tanner. He usually stops by before the game.”
“All your friends were coming, right?” She looked behind her.
“Yeah, they’re near the top left.” But that wasn’t why I’d been looking in the stands. I think homecoming would always be the hardest game for me.
“Oh, well, Tanner is sitting with them,” Kennedy said. “So you don’t have anything to worry about…” her voice trailed off and then she immediately turned back around. Her face had grown pale.
“What’s wrong?”
She covered her mouth like something was about to spill out. And then she shook her head. “Um…nothing. I…think I have whatever you have. I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Can it wait?”
She looked back at the stands and then covered her mouth.
“Kennedy, is your stomach alright?”
“Yeah. I just…”
“Is this about what you want to tell me after the game? Just tell me now.”
“I…I…” there were tears in her eyes.
“Just tell me.” I grabbed both her shoulders so that she’d really look at me. “Please, Kennedy. Just tell me the truth.” I knew she liked Felix. I could tell. And I’d survive if she chose to be with him. I was used to being alone for the past sixteen years. I just wanted her to fucking tell me the truth.
“Fumble!” Nigel yelled. “Muff!”
I looked over at him. He was staring right at me. Yeah, I’d felt like I’d muffed all this up too.
Homecoming - Chapter 38
Saturday
Brooklyn
It looked like Matt was about to kiss Kennedy again. But he just stared down at her. I remembered him staring at me.
I’d wanted to forget.
I’d tried to forget.
But it was hard when Matt was right in front of me. Looking at someone else the way he used to look at me.
My heart was already broken. How could it keep breaking any more?
I tried to smile. When I was a teenager I’d gotten good at smiling through the pain.
But it was like Tanner could tell it was fake. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it.
“It’s going to be okay,” he said.
He didn’t know that. And I was almost positive he was wrong.
“I shouldn’t have come back here,” I said. Being at Empire High somehow made me feel like no time had passed. I felt like a teenager all over again in this stadium. I felt…small. Invisible.
The ref blew the whistle for halftime.
“Ready to go?” I asked.
