“When I come back. Or…when you read the note in an hour.” I gave her another hug. “You’ve always been my best friend. Always, Kennedy. And I really am so sorry about everything.”
“I’m sorry too,” she said. “I’m so fucking sorry, Brooklyn.”
I closed my eyes. “And if I don’t come back, make sure Jacob knows how much I love him. And that I did it for him.” I quickly stepped back before I completely lost it.
I took one last look at Jacob and it felt like my heart was breaking. I wasn’t ready. I needed one more minute. Just to make sure he’d be okay if I didn’t come back. I needed him to be okay. And he was scared of strangers. I didn’t want him to freak out. I crouched down in front of him on the couch and lightly shook his shoulder. “Jacob, wake up.”
He moaned in his sleep.
I shook his shoulder again and he slowly opened his eyes. “Mommy.” His eyes darted to Mrs. Alcaraz and then he tried to duck under my arms.
“Sweet boy, I have to run out for a bit. But these are Mommy’s friends and they’re going to be right here with you while I’m gone.”
“Nooo.” He kept trying to hide.
I blinked fast so I wouldn’t cry. “I’ll be back. I promise.” I didn’t want to lie. I wanted it to be true.
“Hey, Jacob,” Kennedy said and sat down beside me. She always knew when I needed her. And right now I really needed her. She smiled at me and then down at my son.
Jacob blinked at her.
“It’s nice to meet you,” she said. “I heard you like football.”
He pressed his little lips together as he stared at her.
“She’s my best friend,” I said. “And she’s going to be right here until I get back, okay?”
His eyelids were growing heavy again. “Footie,” he mumbled. If he was calm enough to fall asleep knowing there were strangers watching him, he’d be calm enough waking up too. He had to be. He had to be my brave little man. I watched his eyes close and his breathing slow.
I glanced over at Kennedy who was staring down at my son. She reached out and pushed his bangs out of his face. “He looks like you,” she whispered.
No.He looked like his father. I blinked faster, barely keeping my tears at bay. Jacob would be safe here if the next few hours didn’t go as planned. Kennedy and Mrs. Alcaraz would make sure of it. I leaned down and kissed his forehead.I love you. I love you so much.I closed my eyes tight and breathed him in. I needed his strength.I’m doing this for you, sweet boy. For your father. For our family.I stood up and turned away without looking back. It felt like my heart was on fire again as I ran down the rickety stairs and climbed into a taxi.
I stared out the window at the cars zipping past. I hated it here. The air smelled rotten. There were too many people. It was stifling.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
The last thing I needed right now was to have a panic attack.
The cab pulled to a stop outside my dad’s apartment building.
The doorman let me in and I ducked my head and hurried past him. I slammed the door closed button on the elevator before he could realize I wasn’t a resident. The doors slowly slid closed and I breathed a sigh of relief. This place definitely didn’t have the best security in the city anymore. I would have said it was my lucky day, but I didn’t have lucky days. My days were all hell because of my father.
He’d ruined everything.
He’d ruined my whole fucking life.
The elevator slowed to a stop on his floor. I stepped off. I remembered the last time I’d been here. The morning after Thanksgiving.
My father stole my kidney.
He never cared.
I’d forgiven him for stealing my kidney. But I’d never forgive him for killing my husband. I’d told him what would happen if he ever came after Miller. I’d fucking told him.
I said he’d be dead to me. Buried in the grave next to my fake one. I meant it metaphorically back then. I didn’t mean it metaphorically anymore.
Jacob had been eerily calm following Miller’s instructions after the explosion. I was eerily calm now. Because really, I’d been planning this for a long time. I’d gone over it a million times in my head over the past 16 years.
