I turn my back on him and march to my car.His footsteps follow.
“Why is that so hard to do?”His laugh comes out bitter and sharp.“Huh?”
I wave a hand behind me.“Believe what you want.”
“Everything in me tells methat’swho you are.That all those fucking pieces, all those feathers, they’re you.It’s the only thing that makes what you did, what you’re still doing to me, make sense, Little Bird.”
Fury rips through me.Spinning, I shout, “Don’tcall me that!”
His eyes spark to life at my anger.“What?Little Bird?”
I stab a finger towards him.“Don’t.”
“Why not?”
I practically spit the words at him.“Because, first of all, I’m no one’s.Least of all yours.And I’m sure as hell not some little bird in need of saving, or some girl who didn’t mean shit to you.”
I unlock my car and open the door.
With a few quick strides, he grabs the car door, then my elbow, and pulls me away from it.When he spins me around, I slap him.
He growls, grabs both of my hands, and presses them down at my sides.He forcibly plants me against the side of my car and slams the door shut.
Then he’s discarding his cut, tossing it onto the hood.In one swift motion, he rips his shirt over his head and throws it on top of his jacket.His chest heaves as he glares at me, slapping a hand against his bare skin over his hard pecs and the massive tattoo taking up residence on his skin.
“Look at me!Look at my fucking chest and tell me you didn’t mean shit to me!Christ, Little Bird.Can’t you see you meant everything to me?”
My laugh is low and haunted.“Not enough.”
“Don’t say that.God, don’t fucking say that.Because it feels like I’ve spent half my life searching for you.”He cups my face in both his hands, his thumbs wiping the tears from my cheeks.His guttural tone is pleading.“You’re a glorious mindfuck, Lily, but I know who you are.I don’t know how I lost you, but I’ll be damned if I let you walk away from me without telling me why.”
When I stay silent, he demands, “Tell me why.”
“I didn’t walk the fuck away.Youdisappeared!I had no way to reach you.No word from you.And I stayed as long as I fucking could, waiting around for you.Do you have any idea of the situation you left me in—with Veno—with that creepy-as-fuck Chester-the-Molester landlord of yours.”
He snaps, “I didn’t disappear on you.I got blown the fuck up!”
I shout right back, “I know that now!”
“So why come here and lie about who you are?Why not tell me and help me remember?”
I lock up at this and search my mind for a lie he’ll believe.It’s more of a half-truth than a full-out lie.“The shit I’ve done… the things I’ve had to do to survive…”afteryou left.“You have no goddamn idea.”
“Then tell me.”
“I can’t.I won’t.Not when you’re so quick to judge, and I’m not going to relive all of that shit just so you can get your answers.”
His mouth sets in a firm line.He presses his forehead to mine.“I’ve murdered people.I’ve got so much blood on my hands, you could drown in it.I abandoned my own father when he needed me the most.I’ve slept with countless women.Done every drug imaginable.There’s not one damn thing you could say to me that would make it impossible for me not to love you.”
“Yeah, there is, you just don’t realize it.”
He rasps, “God, woman.Don’t you see?”
“See what?”
“I already fucking do!I fucking do.I have and I do and it’s the only goddamn thing in this life that makes any sense to me.”
Tears blur my vision, and I can’t hold it together anymore.“Finn…”
