“It’s not about being a saint,” he said evenly. “It’s about not crossing a line I can’t uncross.”
Something in my chest twisted, and before I could stop it, the words were spilling out, sharp, fast, nothing like the teasing from seconds ago. “What’s the big deal? It’s just sex. Isn’t that all I’m good for?”
He stilled.
I gave him a smile that had no warmth in it. “Isn’t that what you told me? In your bed? That you were just horny. That I wasn’t the kind of person you’d ever want in any ‘real capacity.’”
“Ryan—”
“You said I was a lapse in judgment. You said you’d never want to be with someone like me.” My voice was flat now, almost calm. “So what’s the problem? Let me be what I’m good for.”
“That’s not—”
I laughed, low and humorless. “Save it. You can keep your morals, Professor. I’ll find someone who doesn’t choke on the idea of wanting me.”
I tried to keep my composure as I grabbed my clothes in lightning speed. I could hear him tugging his pants on.
“Ryan.”
I grabbed my hoodie and slung it over my shoulder. His eyes twitched like he wanted to stop me, but he didn’t move.
And that, more than anything, made me walk out.
Chapter 15
NATHAN
This was fucked.It wasn’t okay. Not even close.
Tomorrow I had an early class. I should have been home, grading, maybe making a drink and pretending I wasn’t thinking about him. Instead, I was here.
I told myself I didn’t care if Ryan was going somewhere to have sex. It was his life. He was allowed to do whatever he wanted.
But I hated the crack in his voice when he’d thrown my own words back at me.
That stayed with me, the way it sounded like I’d broken something in him.
I knew I was in the wrong. How could I not be? Then why the hell was I following him?
He’d left in an Uber, and keeping a few car lengths back had been too easy. The driver never noticed.
At first, I thought he was heading to his dorm. Or maybe another bar. But forty-five minutes later, we were in a quietneighborhood just outside the city, wide streets, spaced-out houses, porch lights glowing in the dark.
The Uber slowed in front of a two-story with clean lines, a lit path to the front porch, and soft light spilling from the windows.
Ryan got out, hood up, walking like he’d been there before. He knocked once.
A tall brunette answered. Hoodie, sweatpants, relaxed smile.
My jaw tightened.
Devon. The name from that drunken night. The one Ryan had been texting. I’d never asked what he looked like, never cared to. Now I was staring at this stranger, wondering.
Whoever he was, he was close enough to Ryan to open the door without hesitation.
Heat stirred in my chest. He had drugged me. Pushed himself into my life. Crossed lines I hadn’t let anyone cross. And the whole time… there had been someone else?
Over my dead body.
