“If I’m not there before you go in, I’ll be there when you wake up. Tell them I’m coming so they’ll let me in your room, okay?”
I nod, though she can’t see me.
“I’ve got you. Where’s Pres?”
“Spending the night at a friend's house. This is her first sleepover. I’m such a bad mom, Meg,” I cry. “She’s only four. She’s probably not ready for this.”
“She’s okay. Text me the number of who she’s staying with, and let her know I’ll text her so she has my information while you’re in the procedure.” Isaac is back, whispering something to Megan as she talks to me.
A car door opens and closes. “I’m leaving my house now. I’ll be there soon. Do you want to stay on the phone?”
“No, I’m okay. I’m going to try and relax a bit.”
“Okay.”
We hang up, and I send Sarah’s number to Megan. Igive Sarah a heads up that Meg is going to be calling her, to which she responds with a heart and some more kind words.
When Pam comes back in, I tell her Megan will be here and that I want her there when I wake up. She tells me they still can’t find an active insurance for me and my heart sinks a little bit more.
I send one final text, this time to Brad. I don’t want to tell him I’ve lost the baby over a text, but I tell him to call me and that it’s an emergency. The message is marked as delivered and then read. I get a small glimmer of hope, needing the comfort only my husband can bring as the typing bubbles appear and disappear as fast they appeared.
Seconds later, the status changes, letting me know his phone is on do not disturb. My heart drops, a sinking sensation settling in my gut. I’m in pain, my baby is gone, I’m alone, and he won’t even call me back? It’s almost like I’m numb. The reality is too raw, too painful to even think about, so I shut down. I can’t process the loss of my babyandthe way my husband is treating me right now, so it’s almost easier to avoid it all together.
My senses aregroggy as I wake. The world is hazy and my body is heavy. Something squeezes my palm, warmth settling on my skin. Everything comes back to me as my senses slowly return. My eyes flutter open, taking in the small, dimly lit hospital room. I flick my gaze to the left where Megan sits. She’s perched in the cushioned chair, but half of her body is resting on the bed.
“Hey.” My voice is scratchy as I wake up. My lowerabdomen is sore and crampy, an unwelcome reminder of the loss.
Megan sits up at the sound of my voice. “Hey,” she says, her voice sad and empathetic.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, heavy sadness washing over my body. “I shouldn’t have called you. It’s so late.”
“Stop that right now,” she scolds. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m glad I can be here for you, but I wish it was under better circumstances.”
I nod, squeezing her hand. Megan has always been there for me, ever since my second year of college. We were randomly assigned to each other as roommates, and the rest is history. It’s been too long since I’ve seen her, probably a few months. She lives an hour away from me in a small town called Ivy Ridge and is soon starting her residency in family medicine. “How long have I been asleep?”
“Not long. They just brought you in. He said they woke you up as soon as the procedure was done, but you’ve been sleeping since. Sarah texted me. Pres is fine.”
I nod, thankful for the update on my daughter. I vaguely recall the doctor waking me up and nurses moving me over to a new bed, but barely. “Do you know if Brad has called back?” I ask, though, I think I know the answer.
“I didn’t see any missed calls,” she says mournfully. “Is he on a plane home?”
I huff. “I don’t know.”
“Fallon…” Megan drawls. “Where is he? He should be here.”
“He’s at a work conference in Orlando. He won’t answer my calls, and all my texts have been left on read, or I get one-word responses. I told him it was an emergency, but I didn’t want to text him that I lost the baby. He read the message and still didn’t call.”
“I’m going to beat the shit out of him.” Megan nearly vibrates with anger. She’s never been a huge fan of Brad, even during college. She has always tolerated him, but I suppose her not liking him maybe should have been a sign.
“It’s fine,” I say, though I don’t believe the words. “Maybe he had a work emergency.”
“How is this fine, Fallon? I get that he’s across the country. I get that he’s at a work conference. But to read a message from your wife after she tells you it’s an emergency and still not call?” She leans back in the chair. Her blonde hair is up in a haphazard bun, pieces falling out to frame her face. “That, I don’t get.”
“Me either. I couldn’t even get a new insurance card from him. They ran my insurance card like four or five times, and it kept coming up as inactive,” I explain, that sinking sensation settling deep in my gut as I say the words out loud. Could the fact that he’s not answering have something to do with the insurance? Megan doesn’t say anything, but I can tell based on the look on her face that she has a theory as well.
“Let’s not worry about that now. I’m sure he has an updated card, and they can backdate it so it gets covered.” She waves her hand in the air flippantly as there’s a knock on the door.
I snuggle into the couch,wrapped up in a fuzzy cream colored blanket. Megan left about twenty minutes ago to pick up Presley after making sure I wasn’t in any pain and had water at my side.
