“I haven’t been honest with you,” I finally said, my voice lower than I intended. He raised his eyebrows slightly, but didn’t interrupt.
The words felt heavy in my mouth, but I forced them out. “I’m a man.”
His expression didn’t change right away. He just stared at me, his gaze unreadable. His body language stayed relaxed, and for a second, I thought maybe he was going to surprise me. Testing the waters, I reached out and placed my hand on his thigh. He didn’t move, but his eyes flicked down to where my hand rested before coming back to mine. Something in his look shifted, the edges of his eyes softening, almost drooping.
That made me think maybe it wasn’t as bad as I had feared. I started talking, telling him about my plans to have surgery, about how I wanted to live fully as a woman, about how I had always felt inside. I told him I hadn’t meant to deceive him, that I just wanted a chance for him to know me before judging me. I thought I was getting through. I thought the calm in his face meant we were okay.
Then something changed.
His fist connected with my mouth so hard I didn’t even feel the floor until I hit it. My head spun, the metallic taste of blood rushing over my tongue, and my vision tilted sideways. I had never been hit like that in my life.
Before I could even get my hands up, his foot came down across my face, snapping my head back. The next kick landed lower, his aim deliberate as he tried to stomp between my legs. His voice was raised now, a raw fury spilling out as he shouted about how I had been a man this whole time, playing in his face, wasting his time.
I begged him to stop, holding my swollen mouth, telling him I would leave. My voice shook, but he didn’t hear me or didn’t care. He grabbed me by my hair and dragged me toward the door, his grip unrelenting as I tried to get my footing. My knees scraped the floor, my shoulder hitting the doorframe as he pulled me into the hallway.
“Renza! Kay’Lo!” he shouted, his voice booming through the house.
They came running, their eyes wide at the sight of me on the floor.
“Go get my shit! I’m ’bout to kill this nigga!” He shouted to them, still holding me there as I cried and tried to cover my face. He punched me again, the room spinning as the girls gathered in the hallway, their hands covering their mouths. I heard someone whisper “oh my God” but no one stepped forward.
Renza came back with the gun, and my stomach dropped. I told him please, no, begging with whatever voice I had left. Pressure yanked me upright and shoved the gun into my mouth so hard I gagged once the barrel hit the back of my throat. He told me he would blow my head off right here.
“Bitch nigga! I will murder you!”
Zaniyah rushed in then, her hands out as she tried to calm him down. “Pressure, stop, please,” she said, but his eyes were locked on me like I was the only one in the room.
Renza and Kay’Lo finally pulled him back, his grip loosening enough for me to stumble free. I could barely see through my swollen eyes, the blood and tears, my body aching with every movement.
He told them to get me out, to throw me out and not let me back in. I wasn’t allowed to touch my bags or get my phone. They dragged me to the door, and the last thing I heard was the slam behind me.
I was outside, barefoot, bleeding, and alone, with no phone, no money, and no way to get out of the estate. What I had thought might be the start of honesty and acceptance had nearly gotten me killed.
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
Icouldn’t believe this shit. I had a whole nigga livin’ under my roof and ain’t even know it. My knuckles was bloody, my hands stingin’, and all I could see in my head was me wrappin’ my arms around that bitch, kissin’ her forehead, lettin’ her stand next to me. I looked down at my fists, flexin’ them, seein’ his blood dryin’ up on my skin. My whole body felt hot.
“That bitch just told me she’s a man,” I said, loud enough for everybody in the foyer to hear. My voice had that edge to it, the one that made everybody’s face change like they knew it was about to get uglier.
Renza and Kay’Lo both looked at me like they didn’t even know what to say, and before they could open their mouths,Chanel and Imani came walkin’ over. Chanel had that slick-ass smirk like she’d been waitin’ to be messy.
“We saw her naked,” Chanel said, lookin’ dead at me like she was deliverin’ the final blow. “It’s a man.”
Imani jumped in, “It happened while you were out of town.”
I stepped toward them, my face twistin’ up. “Bitch, why the fuck you ain’t say nothin’? Y’all just lettin’ me walk around here talkin’ to a whole nigga like I don’t need to know that?”
Chanel said it again about me bein’ gone, like that made it better. I could feel my jaw lockin’ as I took another step toward her. “I don’t give a fuck if I was on the moon, you shoulda been blowin’ my phone up. Y’all hoes really sat on that shit like it was tea for y’all to sip on instead of tellin’ me as soon as I walked through the fuckin’ door!”
My blood was already pumpin’ too fast, and I spun toward the door. “Nah, fuck that. I’m finna drag that nigga back in here and beat his ass again.”
Renza moved quick, blockin’ me. “Cuzzo, chill. You already handled it. Let her… him…be gone.”
Kay’Lo was right there with him, holdin’ his hands out. “Bro, don’t even waste the energy. He’s outta here.”
I was breathin’ heavy, starin’ past them at the front door like I could still see his ass out there bleedin’. Then I turned slow toward the rest of the women in the foyer. “Y’all niggas too?” I asked, my tone cold enough to make a couple of them flinch where they stood.
They started shakin’ their heads quick. “No, Pressure,” Chanel said, tryna look offended like I had gone too far.
