“Oh, now you tough?” he slurred. “You pullin’ knives now?”
I held it up, my arm stiff even though my whole body felt like it might fall apart. “Don’t test me.”
He stepped closer, smiling like he wasn’t all the way human. “If you gon’ pull it, you better use it.”
“Mama’s not your punching bag,” I said, tears spilling down my cheeks. “And I’m not a little girl no more. I’ll protect her. I’ll protect Zurie. You don’t scare me.”
For a second, he just stared at me like he was weighing something in his sick little head. But then he turned, grabbed his jacket off the couch, and stumbled toward the door.
“I’m sick of all y’all,” he muttered. “Ungrateful-ass bitches.”
He slammed the door behind him, and I rushed to it, locking both the top and bottom locks before sliding down to the floor.Mama was still crying, her hands shaking as she held her face, and all I could do was help her up and lead her to the bedroom.
“Come on, Ma. Just lay down. Please.”
“He always do this shit,” she kept saying, over and over. “He always… he always come back…”
“I know. I know, Mama. Just rest.”
It took everything in me to keep my voice calm as I helped her into bed and pulled the covers up. She kept mumbling to herself, her fingers twitching against the sheets. I stood there for a minute, just staring, trying to catch my breath. I wanted to scream, and even break something, but all I could do was wipe my face and walk back down the hallway to Zurie’s room.
She was sitting up in bed, hugging her knees to her chest.
I climbed in next to her and pulled her close.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, brushing her cheek with my thumb. “Everything’s okay now. I promise.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, her voice so small it almost broke me.
No, I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. I didn’t know if Daddy would come back, if Mama would spiral again or if Zurie would get worse.
But I lied again…
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m sure.”
Then I held her tighter, because if I let go, I knew I’d fall apart too.
Moss Landing
The party at Juelz’s apartment was lit as hell, and honestly, I needed it.
The music was a vibe, the lights were low, and the living room was packed with beautiful people laughing and dancing like life wasn’t kicking they ass. Juelz always knew how to throw a solid kickback—liquor on deck, LED lights changing color, and a Bluetooth speaker bumping old-school R&B remixes. He had just finished redecorating too, so everything looked fresh with plush gray couches, velvet throw pillows, and even a fake gold hookah that nobody knew how to use but kept posing with anyway.
Kashmere and I were on the balcony, cups in our hand, catching a breeze and a break from the heat inside. I was leaned up against the railing, staring out at the swampy trees that surrounded the edge of Moss Landing, while Kash lit a blunt and passed it to me.
“You good?” she asked, her voice soft but serious.
I didn’t answer at first. I just stared down at the parking lot and exhaled slow. “I don’t know what the fuck I am.”
She didn’t say anything for a second, but just nodded and let me talk when I was ready.
“It was bad last night,” I finally said, keeping my eyes forward. “Like… worse than usual. He hit her again, and Mama just lost it. She was screaming like a dam child. And then I—” My voice cracked, but I caught it before it broke. “I pulled a knife on him.”
Kashmere turned her head quick, her eyes wide. “Girl, what?!”
“I told him to leave or I would use it,” I said, my voice flat. “He was looking at me like he didn’t even recognize me, as if I was some stranger threatening his life instead of his daughter begging him to stop.”
Kash put her hand over mine. “Pluto…”
