“It’s not that easy.”
“And I’m not saying that it should be. Do you know how much I wished that I’d never gotten into that car accident? I was a teenager who didn’t get to go to my prom. I was going through physical therapy because I couldn’t walk. I hated every day of it—the pain, the nausea, the fear of never walking again. It got to the point where I started makingdeals with God. If he’d just make me whole again, I’d never say another swear word again. Or I’d give up masturbating. But you can’t—”
“Wait, you promised to give up masturbating? Are you crazy?”
“I was. And I really hope he knew I didn’t mean it because I’ve broken that promise like a thousand times since.”
I had to laugh at that.
“And that’s what I’m talking about, Luc. It’s one of the stagesof grief. It’s natural. You just gotta look past it. You can’t stop living because Julien did. He wouldn’t want you to. Besides, if you had been the one to go down on that plane, I never would’ve met you, and what a tragedy that would’ve been.”
“You’d have had no one to take to the Erotic History Museum.”
Hannah nuzzled the side of my neck. “No one to finger me in the Neon Graveyard.”
“No oneto make fun of oysters with.”
“No one to screw me in front of that huge mirror.”
“No one to fly over the Grand Canyon with.”
Hannah pushed away from me with a frown. “Wait, I don’t remember that part. We flew over the Grand Canyon?”
“Part of it, yeah. You don’t remember?”
“No, I think my endorphins were too high. All I remember was mountains and trees and then blowing you in the middle ofthat field.”
A huge smile stretched across my face. “Ah, yes. Good times.”
“In fact, if memory serves, you still owe me for not reciprocating that day.”
Technically I had made it up the next day, but if she wanted me to go down on her, I wasn’t going to argue the point. Instead I stood up, hoisted her over my shoulder, and made for the bedroom at the rear of the plane.
We had more than eighthours in our tiny bedroom and I wanted to make the most of every minute.
