It would only mean that shefailed.
Daisy moved slowly towards the wall where she would wait morosely for the night to be over. Now that she had realized what a mess she had made of things, she needed to mull things over to work out how she would fixit.
“Iris, it is good to see you,” a posh, nasally voice burst through Daisy’s shock barrier. “I do not know if you remember me, but I am Keira Jameson." One of the Jameson Sisters, of course. She should have guessed that from the bright blue colour of the dress. "I do not know if you remember me, but we used to play together when we were very young children. Our mothers were somewhat friendly, before... well, youknow."
“Oh... right,” Daisy could not be bothered to go through this rigmarole again, but of course she had to. She had to act in a certain way in polite society, even if this girl had made a terribly insensitive comment about Iris’s mother. If she truly had been Iris, this comment would have hit her hard. “Ofcourse.”
“I have heard that you have had troubles over the last few years.” This Keira could barely contain a giggle as she spoke, it made Daisy furious. The comment was not a mistake; it was designed to upset Iris. She probably wanted to see her cry in public. What a terrible person she was. “It is good to see you up and aboutagain.”
“Yes, well, we just need to hope that the madness does not come for me again.” Daisy stared at Keira and crossed her eyes in the way that one of the boys from her neighbourhood used to do to scare all the girls. “Or who knows what willhappen.”
As Keira backed off with a terrified expression on her face, Daisy got an explosion of self-satisfaction, but only for a moment. Just because she had scared off one horrible girl, did not make anythingbetter.
Things were still amess.
Iris knew that she could not stay in the bedroom forever, nor did she want to now. She should have gone downstairs instead, the bed down there would have offered her more comfort. It had become a lot like home to her thesedays.
As soon as this night came around, Iris knew that it would be a huge one, she had been dealing with the sense that it was going to be monumental all day long, but now she realized just what that truly meant. Even going back tomorrow would not be normal. No matter what came next, nothing would ever be the sameagain.
With a heavy heart, Iris forced herself to go back down to the ball. She did not want to be caught upstairs and she couldn’t let Betty down either. What she needed to do was focus on getting through tonight and leave tomorrow until the morning when she could actually do something aboutit.
Still, Iris could not understand why Daisy would act in such a way around the Duke. It did not seem like something that she would do knowing that it’d ruin her. There was a chance that she was so caught up in the romance of the night, that all of Iris’s warnings about the horrible man had been forgotten. When she had discussed the Duke with her in the first place, Daisy had said that she should get to know him because the rumours might not betrue.
Was it possible that DaisylikedtheDuke?
Iris shuddered. Even if the rumours about Duke Pembroke were based on nothing, she would not have been able to love him. He had a good look, she supposed, he was tall, dark, and traditionally handsome, maybe she could understand what others might see in him, but the idea of having someone chosen for her, the fact that her father had thrown her into something he should have known that she would not have been able to cope with well, put heroff.
There was no coming back from how she felt, but that did not affectDaisy.
Maybe this was Daisy’s love story, just as Iris wanted one of her own. Maybe because he was not picked out fro her, Daisy liked him evenmore.
They had not banked on that. The outcome of Daisy liking the Duke had not even come into consideration. If Iris had thought for one second that it might happen, she would have asked Daisy what they would do should the situation arise. If Daisy liked him, she might not be putting her off of him at all which would leave them in an even worsesituation...
No, Iris stopped herself before she could get into a full blown panic. No, do not make accusations in your mind because they may be false. Just get through tonight. Worry about everything else lateon.
She needed to forget the bigger picture, take this one step at a time, or she would end upoverwhelmed.
Finally, her brain turned away from worry and it delved right back into her daydreams instead because that was so much easier. She imagined herself at the ball, as a guest rather than help, only all eyes were not upon her as they might have been if she was in attendance of the real event instead of the one in hermind.
No, in her brain she only had the focus of one man. Her dream prince. Without even saying a word, he made his way across the grand hall and he held out his hand to her in a‘will you dance with me?’gesture. Iris felt herself nod, she wanted to agree, her heart was pounding with a delicious warmth, this felt lovely, so she allowed him to pull her out onto the dancefloor.
His hands felt wonderful around her waist, his touch made her feel thrilled and safe. As a smile burst across Iris’s lips she knew that this was exactly where she wanted to be. This was the sort of love that she wanted to find. Spontaneous, uncontrolled,hers.
“Are you ready for another plate?” Betty called out to her as soon as she made the way back into the kitchen, causing reality to hit once more. She was completely unaware that Iris had just been through a meltdown and she hadn’t even doled out the last lot of food. “Iris? Are youready?”
“In a moment,” Iris gasped back desperately. Her attempts not to panic were not going well. “I think I might need to get some fresh air, is it alright if I step outside for just amoment?”
“Do you need someone to go with you?” Betty replied without even taking a break. She hadn’t even looked up from what she was doing, that is how busy she had become. “I can probably spare someone for a few moments. Do you feelfaint?”
“No, no, I am fine by myself.” The last thing that Iris needed was some company. “Just a few deep breaths and I will be fine. I... I am not used to that much hard work,” she lied, hoping that she could pull that off as an excuse. In truth, she had spent the last few days working much harder than everyone else, just to keepup.
Tonight had been easy,physically.
“Sure, Iris, whatever you need. Just let me know if you need somehelp.”
As Iris made her way out into the garden, she was glad to find some solitude that she could actually enjoy. She had heard that her uncle originally wanted to open up the garden space for people to take a time out from the party, but he had decided against it at the last moment due to the added costs that wouldentail.
Thank goodness, or Iris might just have fallenapart.
The cool air washed over her and helped her racing pulse to calm down. She did not like to get herself all tied up in knots, she knew that it would not help anything. Calmness was key. That was actually something she had learned more from spending time with the other staff, it was almost a motto of theirs to help them get through days that seemed particularlychallenging.
If only she had received that useful information years ago. Maybe she would have been able to get out of her bed muchsooner.
Just get through tonight, she pleaded with herself once more. Allow Daisy to explain her actions. It may not be what Ifear.
She just hoped desperately that she wasright.
