“But seriously, man.I had no idea you were struggling.”Xan shook his head.“You know I’m here for you—whatever you need.I just miss you.I wish you’d return a phone call.We don’t have to hang out in clubs.We spent all this money to put down roots in Vegas.Come hang out with us at our houses.We can have a sober night.I thought we kinda proved that with the new backstage rule and mocktail toasts.”
“And I appreciate all that, I do.It’s just hard to be around you guys sometimes.You all have your shit together, and I’m still struggling like an immature asshole.”
“That’s blatantly false, and you know it.If it looks like I have my shit together, it’s only because Harper has organized it for me.”
I chuckled involuntarily.
“We all struggle sometimes, Noah.I’m sorry you are, but we’re here for you if you just open your eyes and let us in.I thought support was important for your sobriety.”
“It is.”
“So let us be there for you.Call us.Stop by the house.Text me.Send me a fucking smoke signal.Whatever.I just want my friend back.”
My breath left in a whoosh.“Okay.”
“And that goes for all of us,” Chase said from the side of the stage.
I jolted at his voice and turned to find him, Jesse, Harper, and Ella standing at the edge of the stage.A few techs and stagehands stood in the wings, clearly giving us space.
Fuck me, this was embarrassing.
I wanted to throw a fit or bury my head in the sand, demand they fuck off, and start church, but that wasn’t what sobriety was about.I had to face my demons head on.
As mortifying as this was.
“I hear you guys.I’m done hiding.I’ll be at whatever band dinner or hangout you have scheduled.And I’ll go to Alice’s concert next week.We good?”
Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Alice’s head whip around when I mentioned her name, so I knew everyone here could hear everything said.I should’ve been embarrassed, but I was too busy staring at her.I couldn’t exactly see her pretty light blue eyes from here, but I just knew they were narrowed at me.
I grinned at her.
Christ, there was nothing more fun than riling her up.I could all but see the steam rising out of her ears.
“Welcome back, bro.”
I jolted as Jesse slapped my back, bringing me back to the present and ending my little stare off with Alice.“I never went anywhere.”
“And maybe you could bring back a little of old Noah?”Chase asked with raised eyebrows.“I miss that annoyingly cheerful asshole.”
I rolled my eyes.“Kinda been too busy staying sober to be cheerful lately, but I’ll work on that too.”
“I just miss my friend.”Chase shrugged, shoving his hands into his front pockets.“That’s all I’m saying.”
I jerked my head in a tight nod.“You’re not the first person to tell me that.I guess I have more to work on than I thought.”
“All right.”Jesse clapped his hands.“Who’s ready for church?”
Some of the tension leached out of my shoulders as I settled behind my drums.I picked up my sticks and warmed up.In seconds, all the awkward weirdness was gone.I was in the one place that always felt right.Home onstage with my brothers.
Maybe everything would be okay after all.
Chapter 9
Still Noah
The next few days flew by.And with every day I felt a little bit worse for how I’d been treating Alice.She never brought it up.If anything, she went along like she’d always had, quietly doing her job.
It was justthe wayshe did her job—all capable and anticipating my needs before I even thought them, let alone said anything.At setup, before I could even mention my crash cymbal’s position, her hands were reaching for the stand.During a concert, she was right there with a spare set of sticks, handing them off seamlessly.She never complained about moving kit.Never said a word about the hours or how heavy the equipment she had to move was.
