Ryder groans and smashes his lips against mine. Our tongues meet halfway, tangling together and mimicking the long, sure strokes of his cock. It’s not long before I come, safely wrapped in his arms and breathing him in. He follows, grunting into my mouth as he pumps his cum deep inside me.
“Don’t leave me,” he whimpers after a long stretch of silence. “I don’t think I can survive if you ever disappear.”
“Never. I’m yours. Forever, Ryder.” I hug him closer, and he relaxes his weight on me, pinning me deeper into the mattress.
He rests his cheek on my chest, listening to my heart as it slows to a normal pace. I thread my fingers through his hair and play with the damp strands, relaxing him further.
I close my eyes and try to shove the negative thoughts out of my head, but they still come.
Like I said, anxiety is a bitch.
I can’t help but feel guilty that I even considered leaving him here, alone and passed out after he was injured. What if the person who threatened to kill him snuck into the house and finished the job?
“You’re coming home with me,” he mumbles.
“What?” I blink and look down at the top of his head.
Ryder doesn’t move, keeping his cheek flat on my chest and his eyes closed. He curls his arms underneath me and hugs me as he gets more comfortable. Any second now and he’ll pass out. “In the morning, you’re moving out of here and coming home with me. I don’t want you anywhere near Jerry.”
I don’t need to ask why he doesn’t want me around my father. With us staying together, this person will leak the info to Dad. If I stay, I’ll have to face his wrath.
“He won’t be happy about it.”
“I don’t give a shit,” he growls.
I close my eyes and continue massaging his scalp and playing with his hair. Ryder shudders and hums in approval, reminding me of a cat curling against his favorite person.
“He’ll know about us,” I whisper.
He’ll find out either way, but I’ll feel safer with Ryder.
Ryder stays quiet for a moment before he asks, “Do you want me to continue being your dirty little secret?”
My fingers tremble and my heartbeats double-time against my ribs. Hearing the change in tempo, Ryder raises his head and looks at me with a guarded expression.
“I don’t want to keep you as a secret, but I?—”
His face falls flat, and he pulls out of me, then climbs out of bed. I sit up and watch as he disappears into the bathroom, flipping on the light before he shuts the door behind him.
Shit. I fucked up.
I wait for him for what feels like forever, hoping it’s taking him a little longer than usual to grab a towel to clean me with. Then I hear the shower turn on and the water pounding against the tile floor. I groan and fall back on the mattress, flinging my arm over my eyes.
Way to go, Maddy. You confessed your feelings, made love, then made him feel dirty by wanting to keep him as a secret.
I can’t lie here and risk Ryder coming into the bedroom, closed off and refusing to open up to me again. Setting aside my worry, I shoot off the bed and join him in the bathroom.
Mist curls in the tiny space, the small mirror above the sink already covered with a layer of fog. I open the door to the walk-in shower and shut it behind me. Ryder takes up the majority of the tiny space, but I don’t care. At least he’ll have a difficult time escaping me.
Ryder keeps his back to me, his head bent forward underneath the stream of hot water. I hesitantly step forward and wrap my arms around him in a hug, pressing my breasts against his firm back. My chin quivers when he stiffens beneath me, clearly not enjoying my touch, but he doesn’t step out of my hold or push me away.
“You’re not my dirty secret, Ryder,” I whisper, and close my eyes. “I’m a coward. I’m terrified of the world judging us and doing everything in its power to tear us apart.”
Water cascades over us, hitting the tile floor and breaking the tense silence.
“I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long, and I’m scared of losing you.” My voice cracks, and I press against him, my palms flat against his stomach and chest.
Still no response.
