Dull, unseeing brown eyes flashed in my mind’s eye.
Swallowing hard and taking another step back into Rune’s hard body, I squeezed his hand and whispered thickly, “It’s nice seeing you again. But I have to go.”Please. Don’t let her die too.
Just like the lines in a broken mirror, one more jagged piece of me extended further and deeper.
I couldn’t even come up with a realistic reason why I had to leave so quickly at the butt-crack of dawn. And dressed like I was about to go LARPing on top of that. But I didn’t want her to be guilty by association with me.
I didn’t want her to be a target and used against me. She didn’t deserve any of that. No one did.
I was so tired of it all. So tired of watching everyone protect me, defend me, and get hurt or killed because of me. And when I finally said enough and did something about it, Aaliyah lost her life. I wasn’t good for anything.
Tears stung my eyes as I lowered them and snatched my hand from Rune’s, ending the contact.
I couldn’t feel it anymore. I couldn’t take it and would rather be numb.
Forcing down the pain and horrible thoughts, I cleared my throat and pushed the cart around to leave.
I avoided meeting Harper’s gaze as I mumbled a shaky, “See ya.”
There were so many things I wanted to say to her.
How I was happy to see her again or even congratulate her on accomplishing her dreams. How she looked amazing with her new hair color and style. I wanted to ask her if the boyfriend she had been with for years finally popped the question. I wanted to catch up with her and fall back into the easy friendship with her.
God, I needed a friend right now. One who wasn’t Rune or the others in the group. I needed that womanly companionship to vent about how scared I was. Or even talk about things that were easy and simple so I could forget about the current terrifying situation for a few hours. Hell, I’d take a few minutes if that was all I could get.
“Whoa, hold on,” Harper said as she stepped closer to me. She leaned in for only me to hear as she whispered, “You okay? Is he hurting you? I can get you away from him.”
My eyes widened as they snapped to her concerned ones. I forced myself not to look at Rune and worry him any more than he was right now. But I was sure he already heard what she said.
“I’m okay, I promise.” She didn’t look convinced, so I added, “There was a death in my family recently. So I’m feeling a bit... raw.”
God, I wanted to talk to her. Just open the floodgates and get it out of my system.
Her eyes softened, sympathy crossing over her face.
I felt wrong about anyone feeling bad for me. It’d always been me feeling everything for everyone. Always wanting to make everything okay for them. No matter how much cruelty I’d been shown, I still wanted to help people. I still wanted to gather their broken pieces and put them back together. Empathy was my number one skill that was a blessing and a curse.
My upbringing taught me this. My parents and extended family molded me to be this caring. But it always felt like it went deeper for me. Like it’d been ingrained in my DNA. Rune’s words about Estrid popped into my thoughts, but I swept to the side to reflect on later.
Now that I’d been shown kindness and sympathy from others and not just Harper, I felt wrong. Like I didn’t deserve it. While at the same time, wanting it and longing for someone else to pick up my broken pieces and put me back together.
I was tired of trying to fix everyone else while I couldn’t fix myself.
“I’m so sorry for your loss.” She stepped back and adjusted her purse strap again. I knew she was wondering who it was and when the funeral was. And thankfully, she didn’t ask and instead went with, “We’ll have to get together soon. I still have the best ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on. Or hey, if you want to do brunch at our old spot in the city, we can, and you don’t have to talk about it. We can talk about our latest reads.”
She didn’t need to go out of her way for me. She didn’t need to make time for me. I wanted so badly to take her up on it, but I couldn’t tell her I didn’t know when I’d be back. Or if I’d ever be back. I worried I wouldn’t return to this realm.
Rune placed his hand on my lower back, rubbing soothing, small circles.
“I’m so sorry for breaking up your reunion with Harper,elskan mín, but we need to leave.” His tone was gentle but held a slip of worry.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood, and my heart rate picked up.
Something was wrong.
Did they find me again?
My hands tightened on the handle of the cart. I swallowed hard as I blinked a couple of times to clear away the rising panic from showing on my face. Pretty sure I was doing a shit job at it.
