That notion stopped her in her tracks.Bradley had been nowhere in her thoughts while they’d made love, which surprised her.It was now a little over six months since she’d found out about Bradley’s cheating and ended their relationship.Half a year since she’d made love with a man.And while she’d missed the sheer physical indulgence of the carnal act, her heart had been too wounded to want to move on.Until now.One touch from Jacob and she’d lit up like a Christmas tree, zinging with awareness and want.She couldn’t remember having this kind of intense attraction to any other man.
But what did that mean?For her?And for Jacob?Was there any kind of future for them?Or was this the beginning and the end all rolled into one?She was a scientist who lived in Seattle.He was a police officer who lived in Sweden.It didn’t seem like there was any way they could make this work, even if they wanted to.Which she wasn’t sure she did.
She and Bradley had been together for three years.Had been in love, or so she thought.There’d been no actual discussion about getting married and having kids, but she’d always assumed it was on the cards at some stage in the future.That one day Bradley would get down on one knee and produce a ring.And then after he’d betrayed her so horribly, she was no longer sure where she stood on the matter of marriage, or even another relationship.She’d actively steered away from men, not wanting to put her heart out there again so soon.If ever.
Then Jacob had barged into her sauna and into her life.
Gosh, she didn’t know if he actually was single?The conversation had never come up, and today they’d been so caught up in the swift intensity, the idea he might have a partner hadn’t even occurred to her.She was pretty sure he was a man of principles, and wouldn’t cheat on a lover, girlfriend, or wife.He wore no ring on his finger, but a lot of men didn’t.That would be one of the first questions she was going to ask when he woke up.
The lethargy in her muscles was finally taking over her brain, and her eyelids became heavy.Time for all those uncertainties later.They were stuck in her house for the foreseeable future with nowhere to go and nobody they could contact.There was nothing they could do while the FBI stood guard right outside her door.So, she may as well follow Jacob’s example and get some much-needed sleep.Maybe things would become clearer when they woke up.
* * *
Nikki moved sluggishly around the kitchen, covering an enormous yawn as she turned on the coffee machine.She and Jacob had slept like the dead for six hours straight, neither of them moving out of their lover’s embrace.Now it was evening, and she stared out the window at the bleak, wintry skies trying to rouse herself from her daytime snooze.There was no sign of the FBI agents who were supposed to be guarding the house on her front porch, but she had no doubt they were there somewhere.Which was a good thing, because if she spied one of them, she was likely to go out and give them a piece of her mind.
She knew part of her listlessness was due to jet lag.But more of it was the hopelessness she was now feeling.She’d arrived back in America full of determination to use the data from her research to bring down the greedy Chinese company.But that plan had been put in limbo, and she was at a loss as to what to do next.
There was a knock at the door, and Nikki jumped, wondering if those pesky agents could read her mind.She knew she looked a sight, her hair all in tangles and wearing sweats, which she’d hastily pulled on as an afterthought when she remembered there were strangers watching from outside.She was of two minds whether to answer the door.But when she looked out through the peephole, the brown paper bag being held up by Miller convinced her to open it.
“We thought you might need some supplies,” Miller said, but Nikki was still too angry for olive branches, and she snatched the bag with a haughty sniff then slammed the door closed in the other woman’s face.She was being petty, but the satisfaction was nonetheless immense.There was bread, butter, fresh fruit, milk and other staples in the bag, which was good, because Nikki had left the fridge practically empty.
Jacob emerged from the bedroom wearing only a T and his jeans at the sound of the door slamming.He came up behind her as she put the bag on the kitchen countertop and pulled her around gently into a hug, kissing the top of her head as she lay it against his chest.
“Hey, babe.”Her heart kicked hard in her ribcage at his easy endearment.No one else had ever called her babe.It felt…right somehow.She circled her arms around his waist, and they stood for many moments in their quiet embrace as she absorbed the heat of him, desperately needing his strength.“Are you okay?”he asked at last, and she lifted her face and kissed him fiercely, crushing her body against his, telling him without words how okay she was.There were no regrets, no recriminations, only a feeling of calm and of being blessed.What they’d just done had been wonderful.Even if the rest of her life had gone to shit, this was one bright, shining moment she’d remember forever.
“I’m fantastic,” she replied.“You?”
“Is there a word for better than fantastic?”He murmured against her hair.“Because if there is, then that’s what I am.”
She sought his lips again, luxuriating in the simple feel of being thoroughly kissed.As their kiss deepened, a surge of heat rolled through her, pooling low in her belly, and she ground her hips against his, wrapping one leg around his thigh and batting her eyelids at him.
“We could go back to bed,” she suggested, tracing a finger down the side of his chiseled face, loving the way his pupils dilated as he stared back, hazel eyes going dark and dangerous.
“We could,” he replied, letting his mouth trail the length of her neck.But a loud rumble from his stomach shattered the moment, and she laughed, breaking their embrace.
“Maybe we should have something to eat first.To get our strength back,” she said with a sigh.Thinking about it, she was famished as well.They hadn’t eaten since a quick breakfast at the safe house in Luleå, and that was over twenty hours ago.The coffee maker was already filling the kitchen with the familiar smell of her morning brew, so she put four pieces of bread in the toaster.Even though it was dinner time, her internal clock was confused, and a simple meal was all she could manage right now.
Jacob went around to the other side of the table and took a seat, staring out the window into the front yard, a pensive frown on his brow.Nikki leaned against the countertop and indulged herself for a moment, delighting in the rumpled, half-asleep version of him.His back and shoulder muscles flexed beneath his shirt as he moved to rest his chin in the palm of his hand; muscles she could now recount every firm ridge and solid plane in detail.Muscles that she’d had the ultimate indulgence of running her fingers over only a few hours ago.And could do so again if she so wished.The idea was intoxicating.
She no longer saw him solely as the hardened, always-in-control cop who’d saved her life back in the snow.Now she knew his body intimately.Knew what was between his thighs and the immense pleasure it brought.Knew he had a gentle side that he never showed to the rest of the world.Her perception of Jacob was forever changed.For the past few days he’d been her savior, her protector, her shield.But now he was so much more.He was a lover, a confidante.A combustible connection had formed between them, driven by passion and deep emotion.But she wasn’t sure how to process all that.Wasn’t sure what it meant.
It’d all been shaped by the understanding that it might never happen again.The intensity had been real at the time, but what about now, in the cold light of day?Was she falling in love with Jacob?No, it wasn’t realistic; they’d only known each other for two days.Yes, they’d built an unshakeable bond, forged by forced proximity and dire circumstances, but that was all.It was ridiculous even to be thinking about the L word.Her mind swirled with all the knotted complexity of everything they’d just shared, but she was incapable of processing it all right now.Whatever this was that they were doing, love just wasn’t possible.Perhaps if things had been different…
The toast popped with a loud bang, startling them both, and breaking her twisted thoughts.Gosh, what had she been doing?This was no time to be wallowing inifs and maybes;first and foremost, they needed to get out of this predicament.She could think about matters such as love and relationships later.
“I can only offer you strawberry jam,” she said, hoping her voice sounded normal as she reached for the toast.
“That’d be great,” he replied, getting up from the table and taking the two mugs she’d laid out on the bench to the coffeepot to fill them.Once they had their toast and coffee, they each took a seat, and there was silence for long moments as they took great bites of their food.
“Best toast I’ve ever tasted,” Jacob quipped.
“That’s because it’s post-coital toast.And everyone knows post-coital toast is the best,” she quipped back.
They smiled stupidly at each other, and Nikki felt something expand in her chest.Why did this feel so easy?So right?It wasn’t fair.She wanted to have the time and space to explore whatever was happening between them.But the world had conspired against them, and she needed to remind herself that Jacob wasn’t for her.Once this was over—whenever that might be—Jacob would return to Sweden.And she’d be left here alone.That thought hit Nikki like a bucket of cold water, and the smile fell from her face as she turned toward her meal, which now didn’t seem so appealing.
Time to come back to reality.They needed to talk about what was going to happen next.How they might get out of this situation, if that were even possible.
“I thought they were saving me by bringing me home,” she said, staring down at her plate.“They might’ve saved me from being shot by a bunch of hitmen, but that’s about all.Now it seems they’re keeping me—us—prisoners.But to what end?”She lifted her eyes and met his.“Someone doesn’t want me to testify in that court case, do they?”
