He's silent for what feels like an eternity, his gaze fixed on some point beyond me. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and almost cruel, the words slashing at all the soft places inside me. “Can you honestly tell me you could live with yourself if our child was abducted? If she was barely more than a child, and yet she was beaten, and raped, and endured the kind of torture no sixteen-year-old girl should ever encounter?”
A shudder trembles through me at the intensity in his eyes and his oddly specific words that tell me this is no invented scenario, but a real event he’s recalling.
“Wouldn’t it be better not to bring that child into this world to begin with?”
“You’re talking like violence and trauma belong to you alone, like suffering is a currency only your kind trades in. But bad things happen all the time, Niko. Not just to people like us. It’s not just the mafia kids who bleed and break and learn too soon that the world doesn’t love them back. It’s everywhere, even in ‘normal’ families. Regular people get kidnapped. Regular people get used. You can’t stop the world from being cruel just by refusing to let your children live in it.”
My voice shakes, but I press on, standing straighter even as his doubts try to drown me out. “If anything, our child might have the most protection there is. She’ll have you. She’ll have all of this…” I gesture around the book-lined room, the heavy curtains, the bulletproof glass, the stuffy evidence of Niko’s ruthlessness masquerading as love. “But our child deserves a chance to exist, and to be loved, even if it means they have to survive hard things.”
He looks at me like he’s never really seen me before, and for a second, I think I might have finally punched through the years of armor he’s built up around his heart. Instead, his eyes go distant, like he’s already running a thousand mental simulations of how this could play out, all of them ending badly.
But when he speaks, his voice is steel. “You want to risk it? Fine. Then we do it my way.” He straightens, the decision calcifying in his posture, the mask of the pakhan sliding into place over the battered, uncertain man I love. Because yes, I do love him. Despite everything.
“But no one else finds out. Not yet. If word gets out, there will be a bounty on your womb before the baby’s even viable.”
A chill sweeps over me, but I nod, because the alternative is unthinkable. I’ve won, but in some ways, I’ve just lost in a new and more terrifying way. “So, what now?” I whisper, suddenly exhausted. I’m not going to mention I’ve already told Roisin. I’m certain he must have realized that, but I’ll warn her not to say anything, not that I expect her to go shouting it from the rooftops.
"We prepare. We increase security, we plan for every contingency. And..." he pauses, meeting my eyes. "We keep this quiet for as long as possible."
I nod, relief washing over me. It's not a wholehearted acceptance, but it's a start. A chance.
"Thank you," I whisper, my voice thick with emotion.
Niko's expression softens slightly, a flicker of something - tenderness? regret? - passing over his features before vanishing. He steps closer, his hand hovering near my stomach before dropping back to his side.
"Don't thank me yet," he warns. "This won't be easy, Emylyah. There will be rules, restrictions. Your life is going to change dramatically."
I nod, steeling myself. "I understand. Whatever it takes to keep our child safe."
"Our child," Niko repeats, as if testing the words. For a moment, I glimpse the man beneath the ruthless exterior - a man grappling with the enormity of impending fatherhood.
"We should get you to a doctor," he says abruptly, all business again. "I know someone discreet; someone we can trust. I'll make the arrangements."
Relief floods through me. This is real. We're doing this.
"When?" I ask, trying to keep the eagerness from my voice.
"Tomorrow," Niko decides. "First thing in the morning. I'll have the car ready at 7am sharp. Be ready.”
I nod, a mixture of excitement and nervousness fluttering in my stomach. “Of course,” I say softly.
Niko's expression remains guarded, but there's a flare of some elusive emotion in his expression. Something so foreign I don’t really recognize it. Concern, perhaps? Pride? No, I’m reading him wrong. It’s most likely just calculation. "Get some rest," he says gruffly.
As I turn to leave, his hand catches my arm. "And Emylyah," he says, his voice low. "Remember what I said. Not a word to anyone. This stays between us for now.”
“Absolutely,” I whisper, meeting his intense gaze. "Whatever you say."
He releases me with a curt nod, and I slip out of the study, my mind reeling. As I make my way to the dining room, I can't help but feel like I've just signed some sort of Faustian bargain. But for the chance to keep this baby and build the family I've always longed for, I'd make that deal a thousand times over.
Chapter Six
NIKO
“Well, it appears your wife is quite far along. Seventeen weeks to be exact. I’m surprised you left it this long to consult me.”
I freeze, my eyes darting towards Emylyah. Seventeen weeks? That can't be right. She just found out, didn’t she? Has she been keeping this a secret on purpose? Did she guess my reaction and try to sway my hand?
Clenching my jaw at the thought, I narrow my eyes at the doctor. "That's impossible. There must be some mistake." I growl, addressing him, even though I keep my harsh stare on my wife. "She only just told me about the pregnancy."
