“When, Marius? I want children. I watch Ava with the boys, and all I can think is I want to have kids of my own. Not someday in the distant future. Soon. How does that happen when I can’t tell anyone who the father is?”
So much for winning.
“I don’t know. I promise it will happen, though. In the meantime, I give you anything you want. We travel. We stay in the most incredible places. I buy you every piece of jewelry you point out to me. You hated us sleeping in hotels, so I bought you this penthouse. Whatever you want, I make sure it’s yours. That has to show you how crazy in love with you I am, doesn’t it?”
She kisses me and then steps out of my hold. Looking around, she says, “I know you think spending money on me is what I want or that it makes up for having to lie about us, but neither of those things is true. I don’t love you because you have money or because you bought me a penthouse. I don’t even get to tell anyone I own a goddamned penthouse, Marius! I’d love to invite my parents here to show them this place. And what about Ava? She’s my best friend. You don’t think I’d love to bring her here and tell her the man I love bought me a damn penthouse?”
“I promise, Eden. Soon,” I say, reaching out for her.
“When?” she asks, like the tenacious creature she always is.
To be honest, I usually love that dogged way she has of never giving up. Right now, though, it’s making me wonder how long I’m going to be able to keep us a secret. I don’t want to share her or us with anyone. Why can’t she understand that?
“Just a little longer. Please? Let us be just us for a little while longer.”
Eden relaxes against me and rests her head on my chest. “Don’t make me leave, Marius. It would break my heart.”
She has no idea what it would do to me if I lost her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Eden
As I joinwith Ava to slather the boys in sunscreen, I can’t help but wish I could tell her the truth. Marius has no idea how hard it is to keep this lie up. There are so many times I’ve wanted to share something sweet he did for me, and I’ve gotten to share exactly none of it with exactly zero people.
That says nothing of how much I love him. I’ve never been this crazy about a man in my entire life, and ordinarily when something that incredible happens, a woman gets to share it with her best friend. Me? I get to pretend I’m some happy single girl who gave up on love a long time ago.
“You seem quiet today. Anything wrong?” Ava asks when we finish the slathering.
I force a smile and shake my head. “All good here. Maybe I should put some sunscreen on too. All these years of tanning are going to make me look like an old leather car seat at some point.”
Ava laughs at my attempt to distract her from my mood. “You’ve always been so lucky. You never burn. I don’t knowwhat’s wrong with me. We’re both brunettes, but I burn every time.”
“It’s the blue eyes.”
She nods like that news disappoints her. “I guess. It would be nice to have some color sometimes. I wonder if the boys will get their father’s complexion.”
The two of us look at Theo on her lap and Matty still in the stroller with their brown hair and brown eyes just like Matthias has and then at each other. Laughing, I say, “My guess is you’re going to be the only one in the family who never tans. Sorry.”
When we’re talking about lighthearted things like this, I can tell myself it’s not a big deal that my entire life is currently a lie. It’s when we’re serious that I have terrible bouts of guilt. I so want to tell her how happy Marius and I are. I want to tell her how we got together since that’s such a great story. I want to share with her how he bought me that diamond necklace she always says she loves. When she asked me about it, I had to lie and tell her my boss bought it for me for a job well done on some project. For months, she was sure I was sleeping with him.
It's not like I’d even have to tell her everything. I just want to share the great stuff with my best friend.
“By the way, Matthias told me that guy from work said he’d be happy to come to the party. I hope you like him. I have a really good feeling about this one.”
Ava has set me up with no less than five guys since I got together with Marius two years ago. Each time, they were perfectly nice people I had to pretend to give a chance and then let down gently because I don’t want anyone else.
My best friend would know that if I didn’t have to keep lying to her.
“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” I say, confident I don’t sound as enthusiastic as she would like me to be.
Thankfully, Ava is preoccupied with Theo, who at the present moment has decided that his fingers belong in his mouth. All ten of them. At the same time.
“Can you hand me one of those baby wipes? He’s got my entire arm covered in spit.”
I laugh and hand her the container of wipes, positive she’s going to need more than one. I don’t know what that kid’s fascination is with his mouth, but he’s constantly shoving something in it. It would be one thing if he swallowed everything, but what he seems to do more often than not is put things in his mouth and then remove them covered in saliva, which he then gets on everyone.
As she attempts to clean herself up, someone walks out from the house. Assuming it’s Matthias, I don’t turn around, but then I see Marius walk over to join us instead. Like always, I have to pretend I’m not happy to see him, so I grab my phone off the table and begin to scroll through my emails.
