“She did as she was putting the groceries away. Then a glass bottle spilled, and I got a piece of glass in my leg. I ran upstairs and sat on my bed and watched the blood drip over my skin.”
It was like I was there again. My mind caught up in the story I was telling for the third time in twenty-four hours. Only this time I saw it differently. The words came more easily.
My strength and resolve didn’t come from the monsters. It came from Cash, the man I loved. It came from my brother, whom I had finally found after what felt like a lifetime. It came from Sam. A woman who had taken my brother on as hers and wanted to welcome me into her family with open arms. And it came from Melissa. Someone who wanted to stand behind me and support me even after the way I treated her.
This club was different. This was the family I had longed for. Val would always have a special place in my heart and in my life. But Diamond Creek was where I belonged.
“I never wanted you to feel forgotten, Kytten. I didn’t bring you to Louisiana because I knew what I was walking into. I knew what Amber had endured. I had been there months earlier searching for her with no luck. But I helped a few women escape. I didn’t want to put you in the path of those sick fucks. Make no mistake, the men and women on that compound were some of the worst I have ever encountered. And you were still so young.”
“Val, I understand why you didn’t bring me. I even understand why you had to go. I’m glad you did because you saved her. But at fifteen I was jealous and selfish. It wasn’t untilI came here and met Cash, and even Amber, that I understood why you made the choice you did. It was the right choice.”
“But if I hadn’t gone. Or if I’d taken you with me.”
“Syrena would have found another opportunity. She groomed me, Val. All the attention, all the praise and little gifts that I saw as love was her preparing me. She was a predator.” I wrapped my arms around her waist. “This wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I pulled back. “Everything that has happened to me since the day I was born led me here. To this clubhouse. With these people.”
I stepped back and looked at the building. “I have to believe that. My brother was here. Cash is here.”
I smiled as I thought about Cash. The way he made me feel like I could battle the world and win.
“Dr. Dunaway has helped me see that my path is my own. I have to walk it. No one else can. There will be bumps and hills. There will even be mountains. Then there will be times when I can slide down the other side and land safely.
“You were a part of that path. The things I learned from you. The love you shared with me was something I will cherish forever. And if I had to choose between having you or having a life without Syrena and the monsters in my head. I would choose you. Every damn time.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kytten
“Are you okay?” Cash asked. I smiled at him.
“I am. Dr. Dunaway was right. The weight has lifted. I can’t say the monsters are gone, or that I’ll never call them back. But I know I’m stronger than they are. It will take time, and that’s okay.”
“I am so fucking proud of you.” The way he smiled at me set off the butterflies. It was a similar feeling to the monsters under my skin, but so much more. It was a feeling I reconciled.
A feeling I craved.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asked, brushing a hair out of my face. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feel of his fingertips on my skin.
“For loving me. For not leaving me.”
“Never fucking happening. As long as you don’t kill any nuns or kick any puppies. Which, now that I know how you feel about dogs, I might have to keep an eye on you.”
The laugh bubbled up from deep inside, and it was so loud and so freeing. This man was so different from the man I had met on the mountain. He’d had his own demons to conquer. But together we would slay them all.
“Kytten?” I turned to Melissa. “Can we talk?”
I bit my lip and nodded. She led me to the couch, and I breathed a little sigh of relief. I wasn’t sure I was ready for another heavy conversation, and the fact that people milled around us made me think this would be light.
I was wrong.
“I want to tell you what happened to me.” My heart began to beat heavily in my chest. I knew I had recognized something in church when she reached for my hand. It was more than a therapist giving someone strength. We shared a bond that too many shared. We belonged to a club no woman ever wanted to join. One we were forced into without a choice. Some people might say that I allowed Syrena to assault me. That I was old enough to say no. They would say if I enjoyed it then I wanted it. But I was a child. Even if I had sought her out, it would have been wrong. Syrena was an adult. Well into her twenties. She knew right from wrong and used my age and innocence to push me into something I had no business being a part of.
I listened to Melissa tell me her story about the man who took her innocence when she was even younger than me, and I thought about all the children—boys and girls—who were assaulted every day by people they knew. People they trusted.
Like Amber. I knew her story now. I knew what she had endured. The man she believed was her father, the man who took his place and then sold her. And the man responsible for her being in that dungeon in Louisiana. She probably didn’t see it now, but all those things made her who she was today.
She was sweet and kind. She accepted everyone. But she was also strong and courageous and independent. Just like me. We were kindred spirits, and when we found her and brought her home, I would help her the way everyone here had helped me.
