“That being said, if you have truly decided to spend your life as a spinster, there is no reason for you also not to enjoy the advantages of a single life.”
Phaedra nearly choked on air. Did her aunt mean what she thought she meant? That wordcarnalflitted through her brain again. “Surely you are not suggesting seduction?” Was her aunt even allowed to suggest such a thing to Phaedra? Her mother would have a fit.
“Lord, no! Eleanor would have my head. I simply mean some flirting. Some kissing...”
Were those not the very acts of seduction? Phaedra wasn’t completely unknowledgeable. She readA Lot. And Phaedra had already done all of that.
With Deerhurst.
Was her aunt suggesting she kiss Deerhurst? Her whole body heated with the idea of seducing the earl.
Then Portia suddenly asked, shaking the foundation of Phaedra’s world, “If the earl changed his mind about marriage and asked for your hand, would you change your mind... for him?”
Phaedra froze—her limbs, her heart, even the hairs on her head. The moment seemed suspended in time. She stared at her aunt, the question bursting into a display of fireworks in her mind.
She couldn’t answer.
Portia seemed to sense this, for she said, “You are scared of being hurt. However, all I can say is—the greater the risk, the greater the reward. Sometimes you must simply shut your eyes and take the leap.”
“You still believe that after... after...”
“After Rowley?” Portia asked. “Yes, I do. My life hasn’t been perfect, and I made a few wrong decisions along the way, but that doesn’t mean no good came from our marriage. I learned valuable lessons in that relationship. What happened to me made me the woman I am today. And I quite enjoy her. Trust your instincts, Phaedra. You have excellent ones.”
“You didn’t trust yours back then?”
Portia shook her head. “I let myself fall in love with Rowley despite my instincts urging me to look a bit deeper at the man. Had I listened to that little voice, my life would be different today. But I still don’t regret anything. There are no guarantees in this world. All you can do is make the best of the choices you made.”
“You have no regrets?” Phaedra found that hard to believe.
Portia laughed. “I was a different woman back then, and to claim I regret my choices would mean I regret the woman I have become. That I could never do.”
Phaedra hadn’t known this about her aunt. She had only witnessed the aftermath. This, however, was quite inspiring. Listen to her instincts? She could do that. And her instincts told her that Deerhurst was different than all other men. It also told her he was a little bit of a scoundrel.
As for her aunt...
“You are a remarkable woman,” Phaedra praised.
Her aunt winked at her. “I’m quite the adventurer now.”
Phaedra blinked. “You are?”
The corners of her aunt’s mouth tilted upward. “Oh yes, I’ll tell you all about my adventures someday soon.”
“Why not now?”
“I should not have said anything. Your mother will never forgive me if I told you, that is why, love.”
“Mama knows? Aunt please, it is rude to leave your niece in such uncomfortable suspense.”
Porta laughed. “You are worse than your father when you want information. Learn some patience.”
“Does Papa know?” Phaedra asked, shocked.
Her aunt’s cheeks flared pink. “Of course not! And you better not tell him anything either. He’ll shoot through the roof if he ever discovers my little adventures.”
“I don’t know anything so I cannot tell him,” Phaedra complained. But she certainly had her suspicions. Her aunt now possessed the freedom to cavort, so it was only reasonable to assume she was flirting, perhaps even kissing, in these little adventures of hers.
Phaedra was dying of curiosity.
