He let out a breath like he was remindinghimself it was all in the past. “I managed to graduate early and with goodenough grades that I got into college at sixteen. Being one of the youngestkids in my grade finally paid off because I could escape well before eighteen.”
I could see the pride in Asa’s eyes as hetold me about his accomplishments. “I did a good enough job with scholarshipsthat I graduated with very little debt, but people were not as easy as numbers.”
That meant that the cute kid with trustissues was now a sexy adult with trust issues.
Cute adult.
Cute, not sexy.
He pushed any frustrations aside andsmiled. “But enough about me. What have you been up to? Are you still seeingthe same guy, your friend from before?”
He gestured toward the guys, lookingcurious.
I had to think about who he might mean.“Julian? No, we’ve always just been friends.”
His raised eyebrow said he didn’t believethat for a moment.
I wasn’t sure what he’d seen as a kid, butI knew I had to explain. “Julian would be upset if this comes out, so you haveto promise to keep it to yourself.”
When he nodded, clearly taking itseriously, I continued. “Around the same time I knew you, he was starting tounderstand that he was a switch. I helped him figure things out, and for ashort period we were basically friends with benefits, but it never went beyondthat except for random scenes when he needed to unwind.”
Asa relaxed again. “I can understand that,but surely you’re seeing someone else. Where are they?”
His complete confidence that I had to bedating someone made me want to smile. At least one of us was confident, and itwasn’t me. Hell, I’d even been stood up tonight for a fucking coffee date.
“Oh no, you’re not changing the subjectlike that. How did you know? And it isnotlying to protect hisprivacy.” Asa’s scoff said he didn’t agree, but he didn’t argue about it.
“He would come over on Friday nights.” Asmy mouth dropped open, he continued, grinning. “The first time I saw you I wasshocked, but we moved before I could work up the nerve to confess.”
He might have thought it was funny, but Igroaned. “Don’t tell me that. At the very least, it’s contributing to thedelinquency of a minor.”
Asa scoffed. “You had no idea I was there.I was more curious about the obvious power dynamics than anything else. I’dnever seen a relationship like that.”
His answer did not make me feel any better.
“You must have been so confused. That’s whyyou started coming over less, isn’t it?” He waved his hand, dismissing the ideacompletely.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I was jealous ofJulian and worried you’d be mad at me.” That casually made statement had mymouth falling open again.
Asa laughed, clearly delighted. “I wasawkward and confused, but I was still a male. I just didn’t understand what Iwas feeling until I was a bit older.”
Shaking my head, I couldn’t believe it.“You seemed so innocent.”
Asa shrugged. “I was, for the most part.”
Then giving in to his love of drama, he groaned,closing his eyes again. “I still am.”
I had to fight the urge to laugh. “Well,you’re at a BDSM club and you know you’re gay. That’s a step in the rightdirection.”
But how innocent were we talking?
Asa’s shrug seemed like he was trying to becasual, but it didn’t feel genuine.
“Come on. Be honest with me. What are youreally thinking?” He sighed, but he answered without complaining.
“I feel like I’ve been stuck at the samepoint for years.” With anyone else I would have said they were being dramatic,and honestly, he could be a brat, but Asa sounded like he was stating theobvious.
“I’d figured out I was a sub before I gotto high school, and I’ve been waiting since I was eighteen to come to theclub.” The way he glanced around the room said he wasn’t sure the wait had beenworth it. “Nothing in this part of my life has changed in years. I’ve beenliving in limbo and I’m tired of it.”
