“Thank you.” I felt him press a kiss to thetop of my head. There were a few seconds of silence and I knew what he wasgoing to ask before the words were even out of his mouth. “Why didn’t you andMatthew have kids?”
Taking a deep breath, I did my best to stayrelaxed. As I sat up, I shrugged. “We kept thinking there would always be time.At first we felt too young and wanted to get a bit older before we had afamily.”
Griffin caressed my cheek and smiled,making me feel calmer. “I was an only child and so was he, so we knew we wanteda big family when we were ready. His parents died when we were in college andmine didn’t like my choices, so after I left home we never had much to do withthem. It always felt like waiting would put us in a better place to have kids.More money from his job or time for my parents to change their minds, time forus to figure out our relationship with the BDSM mixed in.”
He nodded, stroking over my head. “Yeah, wekeep telling ourselves that we’ll get things sorted out later or make adecision later. Then later never comes.”
Lying back down on his chest, I nodded. “Bythe time we decided that we were ready and wanted to try to have a baby, wequickly realized something was wrong. We’d played around with heat sex beforeso we knew my going into heat wouldn’t be a problem, but when I didn’t getpregnant right away, we knew something was off.”
“Sometimes it takes a while—”
I shook my head, cutting him off. “No, weknew. We stopped my heat and the next week he went in to the doctor. That’swhen they found the cancer.”
“Oh, baby.” The anguish in Griffin’s voicehad me tearing up. “I’m so sorry.”
Taking a deep breath, I pushed the griefaway. “No, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Some things just weren’t meant tobe.”
“Still.” Griffin kissed my head again andkept up the long, soothing strokes down my back.
“It was fast-moving, and by the time wediscovered it, there was almost nothing the doctors could do. They tried,though, but in the end…well, it gave us enough time to talk and get thingsorganized, so I was grateful for that.” Even with all the advances that hadbeen made, sometimes things couldn’t be fixed.
“I remember how fast everything seemed togo at the end. Every time the phone rang it was worse news.” Griffin’sbreathing was ragged for a moment before he pulled it back. “It felt like therewas nothing I could do.”
I shook my head and sat up again. “No, heloved your phone calls, and when you would come to hang out with him at thehospital. You did all you could and we both appreciated it.”
Kissing his cheek, I curled back into him.I wanted to apologize again for pushing him away afterward, but I knew I neededto move past that. “You were a big help and I was grateful for everything youdid.”
Pushing away the sadness, I focused on thehappy memories. Smiling, I poked his side. “And I even heard from a scandalizednurse that you brought in booze and were talking about getting him a stripper.”
Griffin laughed. “Oh no, the booze was myfault, but the stripper was Arnie’s idea and Matthew said no to that. He saidhe’d had everything he’d ever wanted with you and no one else would compare.”
Lifting my head, I smiled. “Really? Hedidn’t tell me that part.”
Griffin’s eyes were warm. “Yeah, he washead over heels for you, and the more I get to know you the more I understandhow lucky that man was.”
Blushing, I kissed his cheek. “Don’t forgetI’m lucky too. I found two wonderful alphas in my life when some omegas don’teven find one.”
I didn’t know if it was too much, too closeto the words I wasn’t sure he was ready to hear from me yet. But when he smiledand pulled me against him to give me a tender kiss, I knew no matter whathappened between us, I really had been blessed.
Chapter 20
Griffin
“What’s it like to really have a Dom, notlike just hook up with someone open-minded and bossy?” It wasn’t the dinnerconversation I’d expected from my troublemakers, but Seth’s question probablyshouldn’t have surprised me.
“What do you mean?” Wade was taking thequestion seriously, which I appreciated, but he seemed to be trying to becautious with his answer.
Probably a good idea.
Seth leaned back in his chair. “I guess I’masking how it changes when it’s a real Dom or someone special. I just want tomake sure it’s as good as my imagination says it will be.”
Seth shrugged and continued as Ari watchedboth of them quietly. “You’re the only two people we know well enough to askwhat the emotional side of things is like. I know a spanking feels good, butit’s everything else I’m guessing about.”
Ari’s hand moved under the table and I waspretty sure he’d squeezed Seth’s leg. “We’reguessing about.”
Seth smiled, nodding. “Yes, we.”
I had a feeling something had changedbetween those two…some kind of discussion or date that hadn’t gone like they’dwanted it to. I couldn’t decide if it was my place to ask or not, but they knewthey could come to me if there was a problem, so I stayed silent as Wadetackled the topic at hand.
