“Your mother.” His tone immediately set me on edge and I frowned.
“What happened?”
“Your timeline just got shortened, man. Simon just called to see if we should give you a heads up. Evidently, the moms have hired a matchmaker for you.” At my utter silence, he barked out a laugh. “They’re trying to find you a nice omega to plan your life with, according to Simon.”
“That’s…” I was stumped. “A matchmaker? Do those even exist anymore?”
“Yeah, evidently they do. It’s not quite buying an omega, more like selling an alpha and pimping you to the most prestigious omega. It sounds like something Tanner’s dad would do, honestly.” Shane was starting to chuckle, probably relieved it wasn’t him under fire.
“They’re insane.”
“Yep, but you’re going to need to call your dad before this gets out of hand and omegas start showing up on your doorstep with marriage contracts in hand.” Shane was on a roll, nearly giggling. “Simon said Mom was wondering if you were broken or something since you never seemed to need anyphysical affection from an omega.”
“What!”
“She wondered if there were doctors for those kinds of things.”
“You have to be drunk.” This was beyond insane.
“Nope. This is one hundred percent true. Mom’s going to pitch a fit when she finds out Simon snitched, but we figured you needed to know.”
“Thanks.” I ran my hand through my hair as Jonah and Russ watched in confusion. “I’ll let you know what I do. But tell me if you hear anything else.”
“Will do.”
I flopped back against the couch as I tossed the phone to the cushion. When it missed and slid to the floor, I didn’t even wince.
“What happened?” Jonah’s face popped in front of mine and Russ wasn’t far behind him.
“My mother has decided I’m physically damaged in some way and can’t perform for an omega, so she and her sister have hired a matchmaker to find me a nice omega.” I was still in shock and Jonah didn’t know what to say, but Russ started laughing so hard he fell off the couch.
Jonah just started shaking his head. “Every time I think my family has the most bizarre people I know, someone else surprises me.”
When my family was more outrageous than the group of crazy omegas that was his family, it was time to confront my mother.
Chapter 15
Russ
“Okay, that sounds insane even for your family. Start back at the beginning.” He had to have left a few things out of the story so far.
Jonah was just standing there confused, so I pulled him down so he was curled up between us on the couch. “That’s better.”
Kissing the back of his head, I wrapped my arms around him and focused back on Graham. “Now, G, start back over at the beginning. You said you were talking to Shane earlier about the family, and you guys realized that at some point soon this is all going to come to a head. Your stuff and his.”
Graham nodded, letting out a long breath. “Yes, he doesn’t think he can keep from saying shit like ‘my omega’ and the moms are going to be too nosy when it comes to why I’m letting another alpha live with my omega.”
“Yeah, I’d hoped your family would mellow by now and figure things out on their own, but they’re not the brightest bulbs in the box.” Jonah giggled at my comment, but Graham just nodded.
In any other family, if a guy lived with another guy for over fifteen years and they did everything together, everyone would realize there was something interesting about the couple. Sure, the polite thing to do would be to ignore it, but G’s family took ignoring things to another level completely.
“So what did he say when he called just now?” I was tracking everything so far, but somehow a broken dick and a matchmaker had gotten thrown into the mix and that was where he’d lost me. Why was his mother talking about his cock?
That was weird even for his family.
Graham took another long breath and reached for Jonah’s hand. When his heart rate seemed to be more under control, he started again. “Shane said that Simon just called him.”
That was another weird thing about his family. They lived in each other’s fucking pockets.
