“But do you actually have time to help them and get your work done? If this isn’t just a hobby, you need time to work on a regular basis like any other job.” Russ paused and Graham took over.
“We interrupt you a lot during the day, which we probably need to apologize for, but we never catch you doing anything for yourself. When do you get a chance to sleep and work on your art?” His gaze turned stern. “And don’t think I’m forgetting about the sleep part of that question.”
“It’s not always this busy. Some weeks I have a lot of time for myself.” Just not when Dakota was working on a deadline or Austin was trying to change the world.
Which really happened more than anyone wanted to admit, now that I thought about it.
Graham snorted. “I’ve been talking to you about work stuff for weeks and you never mentioned not being able to meet because of your own projects, just other people’s.”
Because I’d have done anything just to get to hang out with him for a few minutes.
Shrugging, I took another sip of my coffee. “It’s been a busy few weeks.”
“That’s not a good answer, blue eyes.” Russ set his cup down and studied me for a few long moments. “Do you need to work for both Austin and Dakota to pay your bills?”
Kind of.
“It depends on when I sell another piece. It’s been a few months since I had my last sale.” Because I hadn’t made anything but crap since then.
“Why do I get the impression you’re answering everything very carefully?” Graham’s question had me fighting to look innocent.
“What?”
It didn’t work.
Russ barked out a laugh. “Try again.”
I sighed. Why did they have to be such good Masters? “I don’t know. It’s just been getting out of control and I haven’t had time to work on my art. I just haven’t found the right headspace lately.”
“Because you’re exhausted and distracted.” Russ made it clear he wasn’t pulling any punches.
“Kind of.” I hadn’t shown up at my best last night, so there was only so much I could deny.
“I know you like helping your friends, but which do you love doing more?” Graham brought his coffee over to the table and sat down. “If you could only do one from now on, which would it be?”
“Dakota.” That was an easy answer. As much as I loved Austin, helping with the writing was more fun. “It’s fun and Austin needs more help than I can give him.”
There were only so many hours in the day, and his schedule was insane lately as he tried to manage too much and still have time to hang out with Silas at the shop. “But it’s not that easy.”
“You’re right.” I appreciated the way Russ didn’t downplay that fact, but I was pretty sure we hadn’t solved anything.
“You need to talk to Austin about finding someone else.” Russ’s words had Graham nodding.
“And I think you need to bring it up around Silas so he realizes the crazy schedule Austin has going just to work around Silas’s hours.” When I tried to protest, Graham kept going. “No, Austin has enough money to hire several people and that’s probably what he really needs. I fully support him putting his relationship with Silas first, but he can’t lean on you to do that.”
Russ grinned, interrupting with a teasing twinkle in his eyes. “Because we want you to put us first.”
He might have said it lightheartedly, but I had a feeling he was more serious about that than he wanted to admit.
It was time to iron out a few things.
I took a deep breath. “I’d always pictured…I always thought…”
Shit.
Giving myself a second, I took another sip of the delicious coffee Graham had obsessed over before forcing myself to charge back in. “I know we talked about some of this before, but I always pictured being able to put my alpha first…my Dom…well, now Doms, I guess.”
That was still too vague, so I tried to figure out a better way to say it. “I don’t want to put someone else first or even a job…When I get serious…when I…”
