Shit.
I hated words.
Russ was trying not to smile but failing badly. “I’m pretty sure what you’re trying to say is that you want to be able to focus on your Doms first.” When I nodded, he continued. “Now stop me if I’m wrong, but it feels like you have a tendency to put everyone else first, and you need your Doms to step in and be your focus.”
I glanced down at my cup before forcing my gaze back up to theirs. “Yes, because in the right situation, if I’m completely focused on pleasing them then they’ll be focused on taking care of me.”
There was an odd silence in the room like we were all trying to dance around the elephant we’d inadvertently created with the money discussion. I really didn’t want to be the one to point it out, so I took another sip.
They were my Masters; they could talk about the elephant and make a decision about how to handle him.
Oh yeah, I liked that idea a lot.
So did Russ. He clearly didn’t mind pointing out the fascinating creature we’d created. “You know, if we’re your Masters and you’ve admitted you want your Doms to be in control of your life, then logic says we need to step up more and make some decisions.”
Graham nodded, but he was a bit more like me in a sense because he took several sips of coffee before poking at the elephant. “I agree, but I want to make sure you remember your safeword before we step in and start fully being your Masters.”
I nodded slowly, not sure how to respond.
I finally settled on the old standby. “Yes, Master.”
I could tell them I was frustrated or wanted something to stop…but I really didn’t want to have to. I was tired of being the one to make all the decisions in my life. I really was a functional adult, but it was exhausting in a way most people didn’t seem to understand.
“You said you have a small apartment near the studio space you rent, right?” Russ’s question was easy, so I nodded.
“Yes, Master.” They were both definitely in Master mode.
It was sweet.
“When is your lease up?” Graham went from walking around the elephant to tackling it.
I took a deep breath. “I’m month-to-month.”
I’d been in the small apartment for so long I was pretty sure my lease had gone moldy and died. Graham looked at Russ and nodded like they were communicating mentally. Part of me wished I’d known them long enough to be able to know what they were thinking, but another part of me pointed out that it might just be a Dom thing too.
One day I’d have known them long enough to decide which one it was.
When their psychic mental debate was done, Russ turned to me. “You’re going to move in here. It will be more of a commute to the studio, but I don’t think that will be too hard. If it is, we’ll take turns dropping you off and picking you up so you don’t have to do the drive by yourself.”
When I just sat there watching them discuss the elephant’s living arrangements, they kept going. Russ didn’t seem conflicted at all. He just charged right in, ready to take over. It could have been overwhelming, but to me, it was a relief.
“Graham doesn’t have anything heavy to focus on right now, so he’ll be the point man.” Russ glanced over to Graham who quickly nodded before he continued. “You can talk to Austin or I’ll talk to Silas, depending on what you’re comfortable with, but he needs to start looking for at least one assistant.”
Having someone else take that decision out of my hands was more of a relief than he realized. Russ clearly had no idea because he kept right on going to the next point. “Your hours with Dakota seem manageable and you enjoy it, so we won’t change them. We’ll list them out on the family calendar so we know when you need to be with him, but other than that, you’ll be able to schedule your time at the studio.”
Russ was a fascinating steamroller.
Luckily, that was one of the things I liked best about him.
“Yes, Master.” It was like a weight I hadn’t realized I was carrying around was just lifted.
“Do you have any debts we need to make sure get paid or anything like that? Having a family budget, not just individual ones, is the only way to make this work.” Something about the look on his face said he was quoting one of his grandfathers. “Everyone has funny money they get to blow. Graham likes overpriced coffee and I have a thing for stupid TV gadgets.”
Then Graham jumped back in, giving Russ a bit of a dirty look over the comment about the coffee. “But because we take our responsibilities as your Doms seriously and not just our role as your partners, because those are two different roles, we’re going to keep a closer eye on yours. Not because we don’t trust you but because taking care of you is our primary focus.”
When I just nodded, they stopped and stared like I was supposed to confess something. “What?”
What was I missing?
