Austin giggled. “How are Graham and Russ, then?”
“Perfect.” When Austin snorted, I shook my head and smacked his leg. “I’m serious. They’re…they’re sweet and funny and sincerely looking for a third in their relationship. They’re really good together, but they’ve always been looking for an omega. It’s how Russ’s whole family does things.”
“Really?” That caught Austin’s attention.
“Yeah, grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles…lots of the family is in or has been in pairings with two alphas and one omega.” I thought it was fascinating but comforting at the same time. It was nice knowing that no matter how different it felt at first, there were other people out there making it work.
“Then what has you sighing and looking so confused?” Austin’s question had me sighing again, which just made him laugh quietly.
“It’s just…the other day when I had dinner with Graham and Russ, Russ was teasing and then he suggested something and it…it shocked me and I feel stupid that I reacted that way, but it was something I’d never thought of.” I could still hear Graham whispering in my ear, talking about everything that could happen.
“On Saturday when you had your date? And how dirty are we talking?” Austin’s head popped up. “Like weird dirty or just interesting dirty?”
I shook my head and turned to look at him. “Monday night.”
“I didn’t know about Monday.” He was honestly offended. “No keeping secrets.”
“It was a last-minute thing. I couldn’t focus on my stuff, so I started texting Graham and then suddenly I was over at their house waiting for Russ to bring home pizza.” My brain hadn’t been able to focus on my art in days…the lost empty feeling was starting to get familiar.
“Okay, but no more secret dates.” Then his eyes narrowed. “And don’t think I’m forgetting that you didn’t answer. How dirty?”
“I don’t know… not like bad dirty just…” I shrugged and shifted so I was leaning against the wall with my legs pressed against his. “It’s probably really normal and I just never thought of it.”
“Okay, now you have me curious.” His teasing smile faded for a moment. “But don’t do anything that feels wrong.”
“I don’t know how I feel.” What I felt was stupid, but that didn’t seem like something that would help the conversation.
“What did he want to do?” I could see Austin’s mind racing and I knew if I didn’t confess, he’d start listing off all kinds of sex things just to see which one I reacted to.
“He offered to…well, he said…” I closed my eyes. “You really can’t say anything to anyone. I’m serious here.”
Austin’s hands took mine and he squeezed tight. “Deep breath. I won’t tell.”
Following his order, I tried to let the stress out, but it just kept building. Maybe I just needed more sleep, then everything would be easier to sort through.
“Russ said that I could…you know…fuck him.” Austin’s silence was so loud I had to peek one eye open to see if he’d had a heart attack.
His mouth was wide open and his eyes were the size of dinner plates like some kind of cartoon character.
“I know. That’s how I felt.”
“That’s so…” Austin swallowed and shook his head like he was a puppy drying his coat. “What did you say?”
I felt my face heating, but I answered anyway. “That I couldn’t see myself taking control.”
Austin nodded slowly. “It sounds cool, but then I try to put myself in Silas’s position and it just doesn’t feel right.”
“But then Graham said…well, he said…” My face was so hot I probably looked like a tomato. “Graham said that being the one to do the fucking doesn’t mean I’d be in charge. He talked about tying me down to the bed and letting…well…letting Russ…”
“Ohh.” Austin leaned in and was almost vibrating with excitement. “Like you were his toy…like the dildos from the shop.”
I just nodded.
“That’s…” He cocked his head and I could see the wheels turning. “That makes it very different.”
“I know.”
“My first reaction was that omegas don’t do that with alphas. But I don’t like that thought. We can do whatever we want.” Austin got that stubborn look that said he was ready to take on the world.
