There wasn’t a good answer to that.
“I don’t know.”
Wade waited for a several long seconds before finally speaking. Had he been waiting for me to say more? “Is there a part of you that wanted him to find out?”
“No” was my first reaction, but it didn’t feel genuine.
“I don’t know.”
I could hear the smile in Wade’s voice. “You don’t seem to know much. That’s surprising, coming from you.”
I finally laughed, but it came out quiet and stressed. “You sound like you’ve been getting snark lessons from Austin.”
“You get sweet and loving when I get the truth.”
He was so stubborn.
“Maybe.”
More laughter rolled through the phone. “That wasn’t enough words, Tanner. Maybe you want him to find out or maybe you know why you’re worrying now?”
“Fuck if I know. If I had the answers, I wouldn’t have called.” Okay, maybe that wasn’t quite true. “I’d have told the good story later, not called you panicking.”
“Do you want to know what I think?”
A sigh escaped as I stopped pacing. “Maybe not.”
Wade snorted. “Tough luck, you called me. I think you’re ready to tell him. Even if nothing happens between you, I think you want to see if he’s really cut out to be a friend or if he needs to stay firmly in the employee category.”
“Maybe.”
“You talk about him too much for him to just be an employee. I never hear stories about the rest of the people you work closely with, but you mention Shane every time we get together. I can’t even remember the name of the woman who always answers your phone and she’s been there six months, but I could probably list off several of Shane’s brothers’ names.” Wade’s voice was quiet and thoughtful, but there was a thread of truth running through it.
And it was clear he wasn’t going to let me run from the truth, either.
“I shouldn’t let him get any closer. It wouldn’t be a good idea. He’s a wonderful employee and I’ve never had a better assistant. He’s always a step ahead of me and that’s almost impossible to do.” I found myself smiling. “And he gets everything the first time. He makes it all easier.”
“I can’t tell you what to do. I haven’t met him enough times to get to know him, but from everything you’ve said, he seems to genuinely like working for you. That has to count for something. He’s never had a problem taking orders from an omega, but he doesn’t back down from you either.” I could almost picture Wade shrugging as he sighed. “I know what I would do, but you’ve got a lot more riding on your shoulders.”
“What would you do?” I almost hated to ask. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but I had to.
Wade’s voice held a tender strength that radiated through the phone. “If you think Shane might actually understand, then I say go for it. I wouldn’t pass up the chance to be happy, despite knowing it might end badly. Even with all the what-ifs, I wouldn’t change what I had for anything in the world, and I want that for you.”
I wasn’t sure what was worse. Never knowing what it would be like to find an alpha who really understood me or finding someone perfect and then having them ripped from my hands. I knew what Wade would say, but I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to take that chance.
6
Shane
“Damn it,Shane, the pacing is making me fucking seasick. Just sit down.” Simon’s frustrated words snapped over me like a whip.
“What?” I hadn’t actually realized I was pacing in front of the TV until I stopped right in front of it. “Sorry.”
Looking around, I sighed. “I think I’m going to head for the gym.”
Maybe that would burn off the energy and help me think. I just wasn’t sure how badly I’d screwed up. Tanner had hardly looked at me all afternoon.
He’d even made up an excuse to leave work early.
