Chapter 9
Wilder
It was exciting but felt perfectly normal.It felt so different, but routine at the same time. All the pieces werefamiliar, but the way it all combined was unique..I’d dated. I’d fooled around with guys. I’d met people that I found aconnection with quickly. Something about Lane made it special when the parts allcombined together.
It should have made me hesitant or at thevery least nervous, but as we curled up on the couch, I couldn’t wait to seewhere everything led. Nothing about his behavior said he needed to rush, but hehadn’t tried to hide the fact that he found me desirable. That had been easy tosee in his eyes.
And in his flirting.
Taking things one step at a time and seeingwhere they led seemed like the best idea. Unfortunately, the rational part ofmy brain was at odds with other parts of me—and it wasn’t just my dick. Iwanted to see him and sketch him, and I wanted to see if I could capture thelook on his face that was sometimes in his pictures.
A lot of the guys on the website kept theirfaces obscured, but Lane didn’t seem to worry about that. If the situationswere reversed, I wasn’t sure if I would have been able to put my face online.Not out of fear or shame, but it felt like he was sharing a big part of who hewas.
He kept saying that he wasn’t interested inshowing that part of himself in public, but I had to wonder if that wasn’t completelytrue. Maybe he just wasn’t ready to admit that he wanted it. If he let peoplesee that part of himself online, it just made sense in my head that eventually,it would come out in other ways.
It was something I’d have to consider, especiallyif we were looking at starting a serious relationship, but I wasn’t sure if itwould make a difference. Meeting him for dinner in those slim-fitting sexyjeans and heels didn’t seem outrageous. Mentally shifting the image around inmy head, I pictured him in a skirt and those same heels. The right skirt wouldprobably make his ass look fabulous, but other than that I didn’t think Icared.
We wouldn’t look like the kind of couplepeople were expecting, but I had a feeling with me at his side we wouldn’t getthat many comments. When you were well over six feet, built a little bit like afootball player, and covered in tattoos, it wasn’t surprising that people leftyou alone.
I would’ve probably had to date an alienbefore somebody made a comment. Even then, I had a feeling the waiter wouldjust nod and tell me that he’d bring our drinks shortly.
After we’d finished dinner, I’d helped Laneclean up the mess, and we moved over to the couch. He’d been a little unsureabout where to sit, but I knew it was only because he was trying to be carefulof me. It was nice of him, but not needed.
I liked the idea of getting to hold him.
I hadn’t been a very tactile person goinginto college, but it hadn’t taken long for my bubble to have been burstcompletely. Being surrounded by so many other artistic people, I’d been swampedwith classmates and roommates and friends who hugged and touched everyone.
Maybe it was because of my experiences incollege or maybe it was just Lane, but as I wrapped my arms around him, it justfelt right. “Is this okay? I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but I’dlike it if you were closer.”
Lane stiffened, then cocked his head at me.“Are you sure?”
Nodding, trying not to smile, I did my bestnot to sound too enthusiastic. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“Then, yes, it’s fine.”
I was hoping it would end up being morethan fine, but I knew he was just worried about rushing me. It was sweet but unnecessary.Or at least that was what I was starting to think. Pulling him closer as themovie started to play, I twisted and leaned back against the arm of the couchso he was resting on my chest.
He was warm, and the harder angles of hisbody were different but not wrong. It was just weird enough that it feltfamiliar and awkward at the same time. My body remembered similar times in thepast, but this was new and special. Lane was special.
He was still rigid in my arms, but as themovie started to play, he gradually relaxed. It wasn’t exactly what I’dpictured in the beginning, but as time went on, his body curled into me. Oncehe realized that I was completely comfortable holding him, one arm came up, andhe wrapped it around my bicep, absently caressing the tattoos that were justpeeking out of my shirt sleeve.
When he shifted and his head came to restagainst my neck, he stretched his legs out down the couch and I was finallyable to relax. I wasn’t sure the best way to describe it, but it was nice.There was nothing stressful about it and nothing that made me uneasy.
I was just finally getting to hold the man who’dmade me so intrigued.
Lane’s fingers finally inched under thesleeve and started tracing patterns and randomly caressing me. I knew it wasn’tnecessarily something sexual for him, but my body was having a hard timeremembering that. He was pressed tightly against me and the slow touches weretoo much for my cock. The way we were both positioned, though, I couldn’t besure that he knew how he was affecting me.
It was a little bit distracting.
I’d wanted to watch the sci-fi movie I’dpicked out, but that was almost impossible. Next time we did something like this,I told myself I’d have to remember to pick out something I wasn’t really interestedin seeing. My focus was on Lane, not the space battles.
The confidence in his touch made mecomfortable enough that I let my hands start to wander and caress. Nothingcrazy, but when I started rubbing his side and the area of his back that Icould reach, he arched and pressed into my hand just enough to encourage me.The silent hint to keep going had me curious about what else would feel good tohim.
My brain drummed over and over that weweren’t going to rush, but my body wasn’t completely on board with the idea. Iloved the way his muscles flexed and the hard planes of his abs pushed me tokeep exploring his body, but it wasn’t until he turned and laid his back on mychest that I knew he wanted more as well.
I shifted, and the new position had my legsstretched down the couch with his body cradled between my thighs. His headrested against my neck, and his hands started caressing my legs as he watchedthe movie. I wanted to know what was going through his head, but part of methought that would make both of us uncomfortable. And really, overthinking itwas the last thing I wanted to happen at that moment.
I wrapped my arms around him and let myhands rest against his chest. We should have had a discussion before things continued.But as my fingers started caressing his chest, I knew that he would have saidsomething if I’d made him uncomfortable. Lane was an interesting mix ofreservations and openness, but he’d always been very honest about what he wasthinking.
