We hadn’t even dated.
One hand job and a few incredible pictures didn’t make a relationship.
Doing my best to shove the random, useless thoughts out of my mind, I turned on the water in the shower and shook my head at my reflection. “Your sorry ass needs to function.”
It was going to blow up in my face, but even knowing that, there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I needed the photos. I needed to be able to show people that I was a real photographer who could take beautiful pictures. That I could capture the passion and honesty the lifestyle illustrated so perfectly.
Eli was simply going to help me accomplish that.
But the way he’d looked, stretched out and aching for me, wouldn’t leave my head. Even as I stripped my clothes off and stepped into the shower, the desire and need that had radiated from him was like a neon sign in my head, flashing his perfection and arousal.
He’d looked up at me with a submission and desire that would never be matched, and for that one moment, he’d been the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Once he’d pleaded for me and had given himself to me, there was no way I could have held myself back. Touching him had been instinctive, like breathing.
Leaning on the smooth plastic of the cheap shower, I let the spray wash over me, and I took my cock in my hand. I probably should have felt guilty, but all I wanted to do was sink into the memory. Closing my eyes, I teased at the head of my dick with my thumb, loving the way it sent shivers through me.
As I gave in to the slow strokes that my cock wanted, my mind brought up the image of Eli stretched out for me. With his body desperate for more, he’d fought to stay still and submit to whatever I’d wanted. His hard cock had jerked and leaked precum while he begged with words and desperate sounds that had gone straight to my dick.
My own hand moved faster as the memories raced across my mind. As the images switched to the tempting things I’d wanted to do to him, it was all I could do to hold my orgasm back. I could almost feel him spread out under me as I slid into him, fucking him and taking him harder and pushing him higher.
Streams of cum shot out as the pleasure flooded through me. Forcing my eyes open as my orgasm faded, I stepped into the cooling spray of the water, trying to chase the images and the not-quite-satisfied need away.
I might have just come, but there was an empty feeling that I knew wouldn’t fade anytime soon.
Chapter 12
Eli
I was an idiot.
There was no other way to describe it.
Pacing through the house, watching the clock count down to the impending disaster, I couldn't even explain why I’d done it. Sure, guilt had been a primary motivator, but I’d felt bad over a lot of things in my life, and they’d never caused me to do anything quite that stupid.
I’d asked Roman over.
Maybe it was the distance I’d had from the situation…maybe it was because I’d finally been able to see it from a different perspective…maybe it was just because I missed him, but I was ready to see him again.
It’d taken days and another long conversation with Reece before I’d finally admitted the truth. I could have fixed things sooner. I could have stopped being difficult long enough to ask questions, and I could have stopped responding to everything with anger.
Not the drama. I didn’t feel bad about that part.
Even if he’d meant everything he’d said—and I still wasn’t sure he hadn’t—that didn’t mean I’d needed to fight back with such venom. Walking away was always an option. I just hadn’t even tried to do it.
Something about him just made me crazy.
It was like some kind of fucked-up mirror. Every emotion he gave me was magnified, and I had to send it back. The anger, the disdain, the passion, the pleasure…it all bounced back and forth until something exploded.
I was a brat, but no one else made me that insane.
I couldn’t decide if I was addicted to the drama and didn’t want to walk away, or if there was really something between us. Probably both. In those precious moments before he’d stormed out of the studio, everything had been perfect.
All I’d wanted was to curl into him and let him wrap his body around me, then deep in me. With the right guy and the right situation, it didn’t take much to send me to subspace. But it was finding the perfect balance of man and trust that was the difficult part. Roman had hit every button.
He hadn’t taken shit from me.
The spanking had been perfect.
He’d taken control without doubting that I would behave.
