Carter must have had enough of Wyatt’s brilliant idea because he turned the conversation back around again. “So are you going to be okay if he wants to play some later?”
Wyatt thought about it but he wasn’t sure how to explain it. His leg started bouncing, and he fought the urge to start pacing around the room. “Yes and no. I’m going to be so wound up, I’m worried about scaring him off. Once there are rules and we’ve gone over expectations, I’ll be much calmer. But right now the unknown makes me want to climb the walls. Can I kneel or do I have to stay in my seat? Because let me tell you that feels really wrong around him. One plate on the table or two? Will my spanking bench in the living room be too much or all right? Should I have a list printed out to show him my limits or do I let him bring that up?”
He slouched down in the chair and took a deep breath. “Once I get past this part, I do calm down. You saw me with Richard a few times. I was nowhere near this scatter-brained.”
“You’re right. You are much more settled and focused when you’re in a good relationship. I want you to be happy. And until I can see you are, I’m going to worry.” Carter leaned over and gave Wyatt’s leg a squeeze. “I expect juicier details tomorrow! I know you’re not working here but I expect a phone call, unless you want me to hunt you down.”
“All right. Some details.” Maybe. Wyatt could keep things to himself when he needed to but depending on how stressed or nervous he was everything came tumbling out. Tomorrow could go either way. “What if it goes terribly?”
Carter gave his leg another squeeze. “The object of your obsession has finally noticed you. The BDSM gods are not going to take this away from you now. Just try to be open with him. Let him know what you’re feeling and what would make you happy. Just from the little I saw last night, he wants to make you happy.”
That sounded too easy and too perfect. “The BDSM gods have a wicked sense of humor sometimes.”
****
He might have been going a bit nuts. The food was ready, and he’d managed not to burn anything or forget something. The house was clean. Everything should be ready and he should have been relaxed because there’d been no major issues. But he wasn’t.
He still hadn’t decided about the furniture. Did it send the wrong signal or the right one to have a spanking bench in the living room? It looked like a nicely carved traditional bench, with a padded seat and back. It was old-fashioned, something that looked almost antique. It just changed into a padded spanking bench. Most people wouldn’t even know what it was, but Garrett would.
Wyatt liked the bench. It was one of his favorite pieces, which was the main reason he kept it. That, and he wanted that little reminder about who he was and what he wanted. He’d been without a master for so long and it was comforting.
Maybe that wasn’t the right word, but it made him feel better. It was kind of like the people who put up pictures of the nice vacations they wanted to be able to afford. Inspiration and something to work towards. It was just his version of what he wanted to attract from the universe.
He and Richard might not have been the best fit but Wyatt missed it. Having someone around who needed him and who didn’t think he was a little odd for wanting a full-time master. He liked kneeling. He liked making someone happy. He got a little thrill from having to ask his master for permission to do something.
When he’d started exploring the scene, he’d figured out pretty quick that just weekend fun in the bedroom wasn’t for him. If something felt so right, why would you want to do it once in a while? Why not all the time?
He hadn’t expected it to be so hard to find someone who wanted the same things he did. Most men he’d dated in the lifestyle thought a full-time D/s relationship was too hard. Maybe it was because Wyatt wasn’t into being anybody’s slave.
There weren’t a lot of masters who wanted something kind of in the middle. They either saw it as a role that you sometimes played in the bedroom or they wanted a full-on slave. Wyatt loved his work and couldn’t imagine giving it up. He also liked talking to his master and didn’t want his opinion completely pushed aside the way he’d seen happen to some subs in full-time relationships.
Garrett seemed to understand that. And Wyatt had never heard anything bad about him as a master. Some subs had complained he lived too far away from D.C. but no one said anything about him being too rough or just looking to play without any commitment.
Taking a deep breath, Wyatt walked around the living room one more time. He wasn’t going to change anything. Even though it was a rental, he liked the way everything fit together. And he wasn’t going to hide pieces of himself from Garrett.
Especially important ones.
But there was still the whole what-to-do-about-dinner thing…Should he do what he wanted or what was probably more socially acceptable? Garrett had wanted to take him out for a traditional date in a restaurant. Did that mean he just wanted a more traditional date here?
One plate or two?
What he wanted was to have one plate so Garrett could feed him while he knelt on the floor. Would that be too much? It was probably borderline but Wyatt wasn’t sure. It had been so long since he had someone to kneel for.
It was easy to imagine. His cushion on the floor by Garrett’s chair. Waiting for the Dom to feed him. Licking the food from his fingers. Wyatt shook his head to clear his thoughts. This had to stop. He couldn’t open the door hard and horny. That was probably not the best first impression.
It would be memorable though.
He still didn’t know what to do about the table. He was halfway there but not sure if he should push it. His cushion was sitting in the corner next to a bookshelf that divided the living room and the dining room. It could easily be brought out. There were two place settings on the table, but again, that was easy to fix. But did he want to?
Did he have the nerve to, was the better question.
Probably not.
What he wanted and what he had the nerve to do were two very different things. It had always been like that. When he was on his own, taking that last step to say what he wanted was almost impossible. When he had a Dominant it was completely different. He felt more comfortable and confident knowing he wasn’t doing it on his own. Knowing there was someone to help and guide him. A safety net.
He liked rules and liked knowing the best way to make someone happy.
He didn’t know what would make Garrett happy. Yet.
