“Declan keeps them in a baggy tucked in his wallet. Back pocket. There’s only about two weeks’ worth. And no scent blockers. Just suppressants.”
“I can work with that. Avoiding a heat is the most important thing. I’ve been doing pretty well covering my scent so far.”
“Sure.” Knox nods, but his eyes tell a different story as they drop to my lips. “I don’t want an omega,” he says, harsh and clear.
“I don’t want an alpha.”
“Good.” He steps closer, his chest nearly brushing mine.
I hold my ground. “Good.”
Someone clears their throat, and we both spin to see an older couple arm in arm. “Um, can we get past?”
“Oh, of course.” I step out of the way, backing against the wall. Knox does the same opposite from me.
After the couple passes, he starts walking again. Not touching me this time.
“Does anyone else know?” he asks.
“Only Emily.”
“Good.” His gaze flicks my direction before looking away. “You’re gonna need a friend through this.”
Right. A friend. My insides clench.
“You might also need someone to ease you through those spikes if you can’t get the suppressants fast enough.”
“Are you offering?” I try for flirty, but it comes out flat.
“No. I was suggesting Emily.”
“You think she’d help?”
He shrugs. “I’ve seen the way you look at her.”
“Doesn’t mean that she feels the same.”
He shoots me a look I can’t read. “Ly’s pretty inexperienced. I’m not sure she knows what she wants. But I think she likes you, Ava.”
“Unlikely.” People don’t like me. They tolerate me. But Emily’s been kind enough that a small seed of hope takes root deep in my soul. “Maybe.”
22
LUCAS
That kiss between Knox and Ava left me very turned on. I’ve always enjoyed watching people love each other—there’s something reverent about it, sacred even—but that? That was one of the hottest things I’ve ever witnessed. The way he held her, the way she clung to him, the way their mouths locked in exploration, the little sounds that slipped out. It was breathtaking.
And now, my dick is so hard it keeps trying to punch through my zipper. Which would be bad enough on its own. But when I return to the dance floor, I find Emily with lips flushed and swollen from kissing Declan. Red like ripe fruit. Kiss-bruised and glowing.
It’s not just the arousal anymore. Now there’s this hollow, scraping ache in my chest. I can’t even pretend it’s only about sex. The other two betas in our group have each found themselves an alpha, at least for the duration of this trip. I don’t know if these connections are temporary or if they’re starting to mean more—but watching them, feeling like the odd man out, makes my stomach twist with that awful, familiar sensation of being on the outside looking in.
Only this time, it stings more than it ever did with my old pack.
The craving I feel now—to belong, to be part of what the four of them are building—dwarfs the desire I once had to prove myself with my rugby team, or to matter to the people who eventually cast me out. I want this new Pack McLaren, even if it’s fake. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s doomed.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? How did I end up hereagain?
I don’t go to Declan and Emily right away, choosing instead to detour toward the bar and get another drink. Something stronger. I’m twenty-seven, maybe it’s time for my overdue quarter-life crisis.
