After ordering a Manhattan, I claim a stool where I can watch them dance without being a part of it. Declan’s big hands span Emily’s back like they were sculpted to hold her. He tips his head to murmur something in her ear, and she laughs, tilting her chin toward him like she trusts him implicitly. The intimacy of it hits me like a sucker punch.
What would it feel like to be held like that? Desired like that?
I swallow hard and take a long sip of my drink, the whiskey burning down my throat. I try to shake the thought loose, but it lingers. Declan and Emily. Emily and Declan. Me in the middle. The idea shouldn’t make my pulse spike this wildly, but it does. I close my eyes for half a second and let the image take root. Just long enough to feel the ache.
I twirl the drink in my hand as I wonder, not for the first time, what’s next for me now. Plucking the little wooden skewer of garnish from the glass, I slide a brandied cherry into my mouth. I have a one-way plane ticket from Fort Lauderdale to Sao Paulo a few days after the ship docks, but what do I have left for me there? I no longer have a place on the rugby team or with my old pack. My brother moved to Brasília a year ago with hispack, and we’ve only spoken a few times since. Mom is living her best life, traveling with friends post-retirement. I barely see her anymore.
At least I don’t have to worry about work. The beauty of stocks and investments is that I can manage everything remotely. As long as I’ve got an internet connection, I’m good. But I’ll need to figure out where I actually want to live. Preferably somewhere far from my old pack. I could move to Brasília to be closer to my brother, but would he even want that? We’ve never had all that much in common, and he’s pretty focused on his own pack now.
A hand squeezes my shoulder. “Where’s Knox?” Declan asks, voice low and even.
“And Ava?” Emily’s cheeks are flushed, breath short, lips still a little swollen. Meanwhile, Declan looks like he could walk into a boardroom without a single hair out of place. I wonder what it would take to truly unravel him. To see him wrecked. Undone.
“Ava wasn’t feeling well, so they went back to the room.” I finish the last of my drink and set the empty glass on the bar. The flicker of irritation in Declan’s expression doesn’t escape me. Knox broke the rule about sticking close. But whatever he’s about to say dies the moment he glances at Emily, concern fraying the edges of her composure.
“Was she alright?” Emily’s hand grazes my arm, worry-lines creasing her sweet face.
I smile, thinking of the beautiful kiss I witnessed and how much Ava seemed to need it. What would Emily think of that kiss? Would it turn her on the way it did for me?
I’d like to tell her about it and find out, but what Knox and Ava shared is no one’s business but their own. And something tells me Declan would not be happy about the convict kissing our civilianpack mate. No matter how consensual or passionate.
“She was fine. Just tired, I think.” I squeeze Emily’s hand briefly, hoping it reads as reassuring, rather than revealing my desperation for a scrap of her affection.
“We should go back to the room,” Declan says.
“No,” Emily and I both say at once.
If Knox and Ava want to continue their liaison, I don’t want to interrupt. Ava seems like she could use a good lay. She’s been so damn tense every time I’ve seen her. And I’m guessing Knox is an exceptionally good lay.
But Emily’s eagerness to keep the night going surprises me. I thought she’d want to check on Ava immediately. But instead, she’s practically bouncing.
“Let’s go play mini golf,” Emily suggests with a spark of mischief.
“It’s probably closed now,” Declan offers, checking the time on his watch.
“All the amenities are open around the clock,” Emily replies, mimicking the peppy cruise announcer voice that plays through the speakers in the elevators. The smile that tugs at my lips is involuntary.
Declan looks at me, silently asking for backup. But I’m not ready to go back either. Not to that massive room that feels too empty. Not to my too-loud thoughts. And definitely not to another night trying not to stare at the two men sleeping near me. I’d rather be here. There’s something… reassuring… about Declan. His strong alpha presence calms my worries about my future.
By the way Declan glances at the door, I’m guessing he’s nervous about having Knox out of his sight for the first time. I touch his arm, hoping the contact soothes rather than intrudes. “We’re on a boat. He can’t go anywhere. And Ava’s with him.”
Declan frowns. “A pretty beta isn’t going to be able to do much against a man like Knox if he decides to leave.”
Emily giggles, and we both give her confused looks.
“I was just picturing Ava threatening Knox with her stiletto.” She covers her mouth. “Ava’s more capable than you think. She can wrangle Knox.”
“Yeah, she can handle him.” I grin.
Emily tilts her head, and I bite my lip to keep from spilling secrets that aren’t mine to share.
“I have full confidence in her,” Emily emphasizes. “She likes us too much to risk letting Knox go rogue and pissing everyone off.”
“She likes us?” Declan asks, skeptical.
“Why do you sound so surprised?” Emily tilts her head. “We’re friends.”
“She isa hard woman to read,” I acknowledge in support of Declan.
