And Lucas caught me spiraling at the closing ceremonies, carrying me out of the concert like I was something precious.
Knox hasn’t ever seen me in full breakdown. But somehow the idea of him seeing me in a complete panic doesn’t make me feel like everything is crushing in around me. I think he could handle it.
“Maybe that’s why I liked you,” I say softly. “You were… safe. Solid. The kind of person who makes things feel easy when the world is spinning too fast.”
“I’m notsafe, Ly. I’m currently in custody for illegal pharmaceutical sales, baby cake.”
“But you were good to me,” I add, remembering the way he’d bring me a chocolate chip muffin before first period because he knew I rushed out the door and forgot to eat half the time. He’d drive me home after school and walk me to my porch like he didn’t want our time together to end. And one time he bought ten tins of overpriced caramel popcorn when my fundraiser forthe diving team was a bust. Holding the railing, I lean back, staring out at the slowly vanishing coast. “It was real, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” He nods slowly. “We were something. We were to me, anyway.” He smiles, all soft around the edges. “You were the first person who made me feel something I didn’t want to bury.”
We sit in the quiet again, and when I feel his pinky brush against mine, I don’t pull away.
“I missed you, Ly.”
“I missed you, too.”
“So, you gonna leave Mr. DEA for me?” His bright smile and eyebrow wiggle lightens the mood, and I can’t help but laugh.
“You don’t really want that. Nothing’s changed, Knox. You’re still an unbonded alpha without an omega, and I’m still just a beta.”
Declan is an unbonded alpha, too,I silently remind myself.
“You’re a lot more than just a beta.” His pinky intentionally strokes over mine once before returning to the rail.
My shrug feels heavy, but I put on a wide smile. “So, you and Declan were awfully cozy in the stairwell earlier. Looking to pack up, schnookums?”
He laughs. “Yeah, right, that guy has a stick so far up his ass nothing else could fit in there.”
I gasp, then gape at him, shocked he’d say something like that so easily. Cheeks burning, all I can think about is Knox’s… penis… in Declan’s… Not what I should be thinking about! Nope, no. But why does the idea of watching the two of them have my thighs clenching and my heart beating a little faster.
Knox hip checks me. “Still my innocent little Ly.”
“I’m not innocent.” I pull back my shoulders and stomp my foot.
He raises an eyebrow.
“I’m not!” Not technically. But only because of him. I haven’t been with anyone else in that way. Maybe us breaking up sosoon after having sex messed with my head more than I thought. Maybe it’s time to rectify that. I bet Declan—or Lucas even—would be more than happy to help.
For some reason my mind goes to Ava. She seems like she’s a lot more experienced than I am. Maybe she’d teach me a thing or two.
I don’t like the idea of Knox thinking I’m naive and inexperienced. It shouldn’t matter to me, but it makes my palms sweat and my skin itch.
He must see it on my face, because he leans in closer and wraps an arm around me, pulling me into his side.
“I like you innocent,” he whispers right into my ear. “I like the idea of corrupting you. Maybe I’ll make that my new mission this week.”
He steps away and goes back inside before I can gather my thoughts, leaving me frozen in place, questioning whether I want what he seems to be offering or not.
17
AVA
Still in my night shorts and tank top, I throw the covers off and jump out of bed as soon as I hear the door shut downstairs. It’s a surprisingly loud door for such an elegant suite. They’ve all finally gone to breakfast. I had to tell Emily I had a headache to get her to leave without me.
So far, I’ve kept my scent hidden by dosing myself in both scent neutralizers and perfume every time I go to the bathroom. But that won’t cut it for long. And if I go into heat… fuck! I can’t let that happen.
I’ve read that eighty percent of omegas go into heat within the first few weeks after they designate. Sometimes immediately. So, getting those heat suppressants is priority number one.
