Oz reaches out and gives my foot a quick squeeze over the blanket. “None of this is your fault,” he says, the slight Scottish lilt seeping into his voice. “You were a child.”
That’s what Carmen used to say to me. Well, with an added swear word or two. She’d like Oz. “I wanted to tell someone, but he used us as insurance against each other. He said if one of us told he’d have to kill the other one to prove we were lying.” I close my eyes. My father is a manipulative shit. As I got older, I realized even the way he phrased it was designed to control us. He didn’t say he would kill my sister, he said if I messed up, he’dhave to,like it would be my fault.
“I take it there’s still no sign of him?” I ask River.
He shakes his head.
“I told you he looks different now, right? He’s had plastic surgery.”
“You said. We’ll get you to sit down with a sketch artist when you’re feeling better.”
Eli sits froward. He rests his elbows on his knees and passes his cowboy hat from hand to hand. “What did your sister want from you?”
The doctors have pumped me full of painkillers, but Eli’s question makes every new cut burn.
I put my cup down and pull my knees up to my chest. “You have to understand, Angelica isn’t like me, but she isagoodperson.” I catch Eli and River glancing at each other, and my fist tightens around the blanket. My voice hardens. “When we were six years old I let one of the women my dad brought back escape.”
Jude’s eyes widen but I shake my head.
“She didn’t get far, and he knew one of us had helped her.” I run my teeth over my bottom lip and take a shaky breath. I’ve never told anyone this before, not even Carmen. “I got scared and my sister took the blame. When one of us got punished we both did - we had to stay identical you see. But this time, after he cut us, he took Angelica down to the basement.” My chin trembles and I force myself to lift my head, to look at each of the guys. “He left her there, in the dark, for three weeks. She was six. Terrified and alone, while I was upstairs living like a normal child. I got to go to school every day, sleep in a proper bed.” My smile is sad, bitter. “I made a friend. Her name was Olive and we said we’d be friends forever. It was the best three weeks of my life.” My voice cracks.
I brush a tear off my cheek with the back of my hand, but I can’t find the breath to carry on. It feels like my lungs are being turned inside out. I close my eyes.
The bed shifts beneath me and then I’m being carefully lifted forward as a warm, solid body settles behind me.
“I’ve got you,” River says, his lips soft against my ear. His hands hold my arms, careful not to touch where it hurts.
I rest my head against his shoulder and gradually learn to breathe again.
Jude drags his chair closer and links his fingers through mine.
I take a deep breath and carry on. “When he let her out, she was different. Empty. It was like she’d made herself numb to everything. I tried to bring her back, but she wouldn’t talk to me for months and when she finally did, I knew she wasn’t thesame. She still protected me fiercely, but it was like I was the only person she cared about. Everyone else was fair game. I tried to make her see that what our father was doing was wrong but...”
Oz squeezes my foot again. “The psychological damage of being isolated for so long at such a young age would be almost irrevocable. There was likely nothing you could have done.”
I meet his gaze and nod. Logically, I know he’s right, but I was the one who let the woman escape, I was the reason Angelica got punished and it still felt like my mistake to fix. “When we were nine, she told me she liked cutting them, his victims. I made her promise to me, there and then, that she would never kill anyone.”
Oz sits back and adjusts his glasses. “She said your father was mad at her because she couldn’t take the final step, she couldn’t kill.”
I run the pad of my thumb over Jude’s knuckles, grounding myself through his and River’s touch. “I guess she thought if I was dead her promise would be null and void.”
“Freya, look at me.” River’s chest vibrates against me.
I tilt my head back.
He uses the side of his knuckles to lift my chin till he can look me in the eyes. “Do you realize that at nine-years-old you single-handedly stopped your sister from becoming a serial killer?”
I swallow. “You don’t understand. It’s my fault she’s like that in the first place. I shouldn’t have let her take the blame.” I try to shake my head, but he holds my chin between his thumb and forefinger.
“She protected you,” River says. “Just like you’ve spent the last eighteen years protecting her. It’s what we do for family. You got her out, Freya. You got her away from your father. We’ll make sure she’s looked after.”
I pull away from him, twisting in the bed so I can face him properly. “Why? Why would you do that? She’s dangerous, she kidnapped Oz, she –”
“Is your sister,” Jude cuts me off.
River nods. “And you and her are not the problem, your father is. And now we’ve got your sister, maybe she can lead us to him.”
I look at each of the guys. They nod, determination set in their eyes. Even Eli is in agreement.
