“Sex slaves?! At the auction? Why the hell were you there? That is for experienced members only. There’s no way you were ready for that.” Then his eyes got big. “Please tell me you didn’t go to the sky box.”
That place that won best new room?“Nope.” I didn’t know what the hell the sky box room was, but if I ever needed toreallymake Tanner jealous, it sounded like that was the place to go. “We went straight to the auction room. When someone paid $250K for us I thought for sure we were gonna get gangbanged at a bachelor party, but it turned out that Ocelot needed us to help him present the Onyxies since his girlfriend’s plane got delayed.”
“And that presentation involved getting double-teamed?” He pulled his hand away from me. It looked like he wanted to startpacing but instead he just ran his hand down his face like the idea literally pained him.
“Yup. Actually, no. I was just supposed to choose one guy. But I got a little greedy. And really, I had no choice. You know… Single Girl Rule #8.”
“That’s not a thing.”
“It absolutely is. And if I’m not mistaken, both Angel and Diablo fit that criteria. Unless they have a fat day or something, then my body is at their mercy.”
“Even in front of that entire auditorium of people?”
“Rule 8 isn’t shy.”
“Why would that be part of girl code?”
“It’s not girl code. That’s for old ladies and tweens. These are the Single Girl Rules. They’re far superior. And of course Rule #8 is a part of them. Didn’t your parents ever tell you to eat all your food because there were starving children in Africa?”
“No. That would have been awfully strange of them to say...”
“They seriously never said that? Oh well. It doesn’t matter. The concept is the same. It’s wrong to waste food because it’s a valuable commodity that some people would kill for. The same goes for a man with an 8 pack and a huge cock. To refuse him would be an insult to women everywhere who can’t find themselves such a fine specimen.”
“I thought the rules were like: If you arrive together, leave together. And friends don’t let friends go to the bathroom alone. Things like that.”
“Never let a friend go into the bathroom alone is Rule #3. But the rest of what you said is just classic girl code. Which I just told you is for basic bitches. Single Girl Rules are more sophisticated. You’re probably thinking of Rule #11. But you got it all wrong. It’s really: Only ditch your friends for a hot guy.”
Tanner stared at me. “There’s no way that’s right.”
“Sure it is. Anyway, where was I? Oh, right. So Ocelot would only let me choose two. But the others were all double 8s as well, so before they left, I told them they could come take a turn on me once Angel and Diablo were done.”Was that too much?That felt like way too much. Although if my goal had been to channel my inner-Chastity, then I’d totally nailed it.
“You’re a terrible liar, you know,” said Tanner.
“What makes you think I’m lying?”
“It’s pretty obvious.”
“You’re mistaken, sir. As a card-carrying member of the Single Girl Rules, I had no choice but to let Angel and Diablo have their way with me. It would have been a totally different story if I had a boyfriend, though.”Boom!That was it. I’d made my case: Un-wifey-zone me, or I’m gonna whore it up. And that was a promise.
Now the ball was in Tanner’s court.
“We’re leaving,” he said.
Yes, take me home with you!
“It’s late and there’s still lots to do to get ready for this launch party. You said Chastity was here too?”
“Yeah.” I’m not sure why he wanted Chastity to come home with him too. And why we were going to be ‘working.’ “I’m pretty sure she ran off with Karl after he won Best Gif.”
“Any idea where?”
I shook my head.
“Damn, okay.”
“Should we split up?” I asked.
“Not a chance.”
