Page 58 of His & Hers


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“No, but I let you make your own decisions, and look where it fucking got you.”

Silent, angry tears sprung into my eyes.

“Do you think you love him,Cara? Is it the fact he has money? Is it the bad boy lifestyle you are attracted to?”

Ouch.

“Like Mom was?” I snapped.

“Your mother hasalwaysbeen safe, Alice,” Dad growled before his eyes flew to the door.

Mom stood there, her arms folded as she glared at him.

“Have I, Cal?” she asked.

His shoulders sagged as he shook his head.

“That’s different.”

“How? Alice, when I was a little older than you, I was kidnapped too. By your father’s ex.”

I stared at my mother in shock, and Dad stood up abruptly.

“Good luck with this, Gretchen.” Dad snapped, storming out of the room.

My mom rolled her eyes, walking over to my bed. She gazed at me lovingly before stroking my hair.

“I fell in love with a gangster, Alice. I married him and had his children.” She smiled faintly, and I held my breath, not daring to speak in case she refused to elaborate further.

“I couldn’t keep away from him. Hell, I didn’t eventry.” She chuckled. “If I could choose, I wouldn’t wish the same fate for you, our daughter. But I can’t choose, that’s your decision. Does Lucas love you? I don’t doubt it. He’s done the hardest thing—walking away from you.”

Tears spilled down my cheeks as I sobbed, falling into her arms like I was seven years old again.

“I don’twantto love him. His world isn’t like mine. It frightens me,” I confessed, feeling her lips graze my forehead. “You’re a good person, Mom. How did you, you know, not get involved?”

“I was exposed to the mob occasionally, and I barely slept when your Dad was ’at work’.” She used her fingers to quote the last part, and I nodded. “I didn’t see the guns, I didn’t ask any questions, and he eventually walked away from it all for us. But the main thing is, Alice, he made all of those decisions himself. I didn’t make any for him.”

“Lucas needs to marry an Italian girl with connections and knowledge,” I muttered, jealousy burning through me as I spoke.

I could imagine her now...sleek black hair and stunning brown eyes.. she’d be young and beautiful. She would speak fluent Italian and English and would be feisty enough to rule by his side.

“Then that is what he will do, and you have to understand that. You can only make decisions regardingyourlife, baby. You can’t change what happens around you- all you can control is how you react to it.”

I nodded, suddenly feeling tired again.

“I just miss him so much it hurts me inside,” I admitted, closing my eyes as I laid back, Mom pulling the duvet around me.

“I know, baby, I do. But you need to recover and heal... let him do what he needs to do. I have no doubt you’ll see him again. But right now, we need our Alice back.”

She rubbed my hair as sleep claimed me, my dreams reuniting me with Lucas Deacon.

His demons danced with mine like no other, and it only made me want him more. In my dreams, he was happy, and he kissed me softly. He told me he loved me and that he wanted me to be his wife.

I wanted to sleep forever.

25

LAYLA