‘It’s Wednesday 3 December… 2025.’ Izzy shot me an amused look as she said the year after a perfectly timed comedic beat. I grinned as I exaggeratedly underlined the full date, including the year, in my notebook. Ian didn’t react.
‘The third, then. So, let me see, let me see… yes, here we go. The officewasdue to be closed for the annual festive shutdown between Wednesday 24 December and Friday 2 January. But we need to close the week before that this year, so that’ll be Monday 15 December.’
In less than two weeks? Shit, this would get tongues wagging. I jotted down the dates.
‘Okay, got it. So, why is that?’ I asked.
‘We’ve got some… operational issues to take care of in the office that week.’
Oh God, this was like pulling teeth. No wonder Maggie referred to him as ‘Iancompetent’ after a drink or two.
‘I see.’ I didn’t see. ‘But, ha ha, you know what they’re like down in editorial; the rumour mill will go into overdrive. So I reckon it might be good to tell staff a bit more than that, if that makes sense?’
‘I told you that wouldn’t be enough, Ian. Shall I…?’ Izzy said.
Ian sighed and nodded once at Izzy, looking defeated and downcast.
I took a long sip of water to avoid the atmosphere of awkwardness that had descended around us. Argh, too much water. I mopped my chin with the back of my hand, hopefully before either of them noticed the dribble.
‘Mally.’ Izzy was now leading the conversation. It was a poorly kept secret that Izzy Curtis was the personactuallyin charge of the day-to-day operational function ofThe Helixin the UK, not Ian. As a natural fixer, she’d quietly worked her way up the management ladder ever since she’d started working here as a receptionist straight out of uni. But when she’d returned from maternity leave a couple of years ago, the leadership pathway – which had previously been so clearly laid out before her – was suddenly littered with obstacles. When I say ‘obstacles’, I mean mediocre men. She’d been sidelined into executive assistant roles ever since. Elle had told me on the sly that she was constantly trying to resign, but they kept paying her more to stay because she ‘knew too much’.
‘We need employees to vacate the office a week early to carry out some unplanned maintenance work,’ Izzy continued. ‘As you know, key editorial and commercial staff usually work from home between Christmas and the new year on a rota basis, but this year we’re asking those staff to commence their remote working slightly earlier than usual.’
I took some more notes. ‘Okay, got it. What about the rest of us – I mean, the rest of the company?’
‘They won’t be required to work during the extended shutdown period.’
‘Right. But… they’ll still be paid?’
‘Mmm-hmm.’
Oh! This was big. And potentially… not good. There’d been tons of speculation in recent months about the long-term viability of such a large UK presence forThe Helix, especially since commercial revenues had dropped off a cliff in the last couple of years.
The business had grown exponentially since the UK-based arm of the global online publication had launched back in 2007. My own position had been created in 2016 as part of one of many waves of expansion as the website’s audience traffic – and commercial revenue – had soared in the years that followed. Recruitment had tailed off recently, but the US-based owners had announced just this year that they had ‘ambitious plans for growth and innovation’. But rumours had already been rife that all of this would come at the expense of the UK-based operation. Surely news of this sudden office closure would only add more fuel to the gossip fire in London media circles?
I thought carefully about what to say next so I could end this meeting as soon as possible and get back to my desk to give my co-manager, Lauren – who ran our PR team – an urgent heads-up about this potential comms inferno.
‘Right, so – off the top of my head – it seems to me that maybe the message should be that everyone’s getting a fully paid extra week off before Christmas?’
‘Yes! That’s it, Mally.’ Ian suddenly had a bit of colour back in his face.
‘Well, I’m not sure I’d put it like that…’ Izzy was rubbing her temples and looking at me in a way that suggested she was trying to communicate via telepathy. I’m sure she was wishing it was Maggie in this meeting rather than me. The two of them always seemed to untangle these largely male-made knots, but with Maggie out of action for the rest of the year having a hysterectomy, contacting her was out of the question.
‘No, this is perfect.’ Ian placed what he obviously believed to be a reassuring hand on Izzy’s shoulder as a signal that he was going to take over the reins of the meeting once more.
‘Okay, Mally. Let’s go with something like this:As a thank you for the exceptional efforts that employees have put in this year, we’re extending the annual festive shutdown for an extra week. During this time, essential maintenance work will be carried out in the office ahead of our return in the new year.How does that sound?’
It sounds like a crock of shit, Ian.
‘Perfect, got it. So, returning to the office as planned on Monday 5 January?’
‘That’s the plan, yes.’
The plan?Oh God, our employees were going to be coming to all manner of conclusions about this paper-thin email.The Helix’s management had always opposed the unionisation of its staff, insisting that its ‘online start-up culture’ – despite its one-thousand-plus employees both here and in the US – meant that there was ‘no need’ for employees to rely on collective representation. It left all of us vulnerable to the whims of management who lived the other side of the Atlantic, and inevitably resulted in a permanent frenzy of paranoia. I caught Izzy’s eye furtively, eyebrows briefly raised, to indicate that I’d clocked her concern. She nodded almost imperceptibly to confirm that she’d received my message.
‘Brill. Do you think we ought to link to some FAQs on the intranet to explain it all in a bit more detail?’ I asked.
‘Great question,’ Ian replied. ‘Izzy, what do you think?’
