Deck couldn’t stay away from me any more than I could stay mad at him.
Tonight was an example. He’d been adamant that I work on flash cards with him, but he’d strategically positioned the Doritos between us so we wouldn’t be close enough for something crazy to happen, like our knees touching.
Another card.Ignominious.
“Publicly shameful or humiliating.”
Deck chuckled. “I don’t know about that one. It sounds more like the name of a dinosaur.”
He reached into the bag to grab a chip just as I did. Our fingers brushed, and he flinched.
“Great,” I said. “Now I’m going to forget the real definition and be wondering the whole time… Do you think the ignominious was a plant eater or a meat eater? Scales or horns? Thanks a lot, Deck, you just cost me a perfect score.”
I joked, but also harbored a secret fear that despite literal years of studying, I would somehow choke on the test when the time came.
Some of my thoughts must have shown on my face because Deck put the bag of chips on the table, his expression serious. “Chica, you know no matter what happens on the test or in school, you’re still the smartest girl in any room.” He bent forward. Hesitating only a second, he put a hand on my knee. “No matter what the test score says…you’re perfect, okay? There’s no chance of anignominiousoutcome.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
“You’re welcome.”
The smile stayed on his lips. I wished more people could see Deck like this. Softer.
He stood, hooking his fingers together and stretching them above his head. “I think that’s enough for now.” He glanced toward the stairs. “I don’t think Mari’s going to wake up. If you need to get home, I’m good to stay with her.”
I grimaced. I did not want to go home. Did not want to face the lonely, messy double-wide I’d had to set rat traps around yesterday. My mom hadn’t appeared in days, and Johnny had gone off earlier with Eliazar. Those two rarely came home before dawn when they went out together, even on school nights.
But I had no intention of invading Deck’s space if he didn’t want me there. I began gathering my things.
Deck lifted an arm.
“Cori,” he said, “I’m not kicking you out. Iwantyou to stay. You know being alone with you is—” He sighed. “I just don’t want you to ever feel like you…have tobe with me.”
Meeting his eyes directly, I sat back down. “I’d like to stay. You know the trailer is shit when it’s cold. Plus, no Wi-Fi.”
“Right. Okay, then. Good… And Cori?”
“Yeah?”
“If that changes, and you decide you have somewhere better to be, I get it.”
It amazed me that anyone ever thought Deck was unintelligent. Not everyone was smart enough to have a conversation beneath the conversation.
I wanted to shake him, but all I said was, “I understand.”
He nodded. “TV?”
I breathed away some of the heaviness in the air and dipped my chin. “The Wire?” The Deckers paid for HBO. They were the only ones I knew who did. Deck and I had been working our way through some of the older series lately.
“Uh-huh.”
We sat on opposite ends of the couch. He put the chips between us.
“I think Eliazar should watch this show,” I said, halfway through an episode.
“Because of Omar?”
“Yeah. Not many shows I can think of with gay guys from the hood.”
