“What’s so wrong about that?”
“Absolutely nothing. I just knew I didn’t want it. I figured to avoid Mom’s pain, I needed to be the opposite of her. Be on my own. Live in a big city. Have a fancy job. Like, if I lived my life differently, I could have a happier outcome.”
Marley slumped back against the counter, her frown deep. “You don’t think Mom was happy?”
“I think she had pockets of happiness. She loved being our mom. But she wasn’t the same person after Dad died. The mother I remembered from before never came back. She died with him.”
My sister flinched, like my words were a physical blow. “God, that’s so sad. I never thought of it that way. Never felt that.”
“Good. I think Mom would be glad to hear you say that. Because she dedicated every day of her life after Dad died to making sure we never did.”
“I miss her so much.”
“Me too.” I slung an arm over Marley’s shoulders and kissed the side of her head.
“I’m pretty sure if she was here, she’d remind you that you’re not her. You can have a relationship and love Coleman Creek and still not be her.”
“I wouldn’t mind being the best parts of her.”
“Do you remember last year when you told me I needed to give James a chance?” Marley side-eyed me.
“Of course.”
“How come you want that for me but not for yourself?”
I’d been thinking about that all day. “I’m not sure that’s the case anymore,” I stammered.
“I won’t tell you to give Will a chance, or that he’s the one, or anything like that. Truthfully, I’m sort of inclined to pinch him for what he did to you back then. But you should give yourself a shot to find love. With Will or someone else. Don’t assume you’re better off alone. That’s dumb.”
Marley dropped an imaginary mic and strode out of the kitchen. She headed downstairs—I assumed to relay our conversation to James.
I pulled the enchiladas from the oven, almost dropping the casserole dish when the thin potholders couldn’t take the heat. Speaking with Marley about our mom and dad was unexpected. It had been so long since I’d thought about any of that.
Will stirred in the third bedroom. I’d talk to him soon but still wasn’t quite ready. I needed some more time alone with my thoughts, and at least two enchiladas first.
James assumed sickbed dutythe rest of the night. He and Will played cards in Will’s room after dinner while Marley graded papers and I sat at the dining room table putting the finishing touches on the video I’d made of Katy. I’d included a lot of the more serious material about her divorce and starting over because I knew viewers would connect with it. I just hoped she’d give me the green light to post.
Marley and James went to bed earlier than usual. We were all tired after three days of worrying about Will. After emailing Katy a link to the video, I tried falling asleep as well. But after an hour of tossing and turning, I gave up and decided to watch TV in the living room.
I saw light from underneath Will’s closed door as I walked past. The bluish hue told me he was watching something on his computer since the room didn’t have a TV. He’d been able to start looking at screens again although he still needed to take frequent breaks.
What if he’d fallen asleep with the computer on? That wouldn’t be good for his recovery.
I knocked softly on the door. “Will?”
No answer. Shoot. I didn’t want to wake him if he’d drifted off. He still had a low-grade headache and needed a lot of rest. But leaving the laptop on seemed like a bad idea, too.
I rapped on the door with slightly more force. Again, no reply. Okay, I could just go in quickly and close his screen. No bigs. I turned the knob and cracked the door.
“…I’m gonna give it a shot because I always want to keep an open mind about the latest trends—” Was that…? Yep. It was me, my voice. Or rather, Francesca’s.“Alright, I’m going to do a light application. I’m pretty sure this won’t work for me, but you never know, right? And besides, it’s fun to play.”A moment passed where only the background music could be heard. I recognized the clip and knew exactly what was happening onscreen. I was staring into the camera, trying on the dark shade of burgundy lipstick that was popular a few years ago.“No, um, just no.”The me on Will’s computer screen broke into hysterical laughter.“This looks terrible.”More giggles, and I remembered wiping away the lipstick enthusiastically. “Alright, maybe this will work on some folks, but I thought I looked like a vampire who just had a snack. But remember—if you love it, wear it. Absolutely. Personally, I’ll stickto my pale pink and nude shades, maybe a berry stain if I’m feeling frisky. What do you think of the dark burgundy lip trend? Tell me in the comments below.”
I listened to myself laughing through the computer speakers. Finally daring to peek my head around, I found Will staring at the screen with a big, goofy grin on his face. At the sound of the door opening, he looked up. Totally nonplussed at being caught, he pointed at the screen and said, “This is one of my favorites.”
Venturing farther into the room, I shut the door behind me. Marley and James might be heavy sleepers, but Oscar and Bambi would come begging for midnight treats if they heard us. I sat on the mattress next to Will. He appeared to have changed into a fresh white tee, the thin cotton doing little to hide the definition of his torso and the impression of taut nipples beneath the material. Absently, I wondered if he wore sweats or just boxers. I couldn’t tell with the bedspread rucked up to his waist.
He scooted against the wall to give me extra room. I leaned back on one of his gold pillows, sitting on top of the blanket.
“You’ve really watched all my videos?”
