Iclosed out of YouTube so I could focus on wedding stuff with my sister. The dogs retreated to their blanket underneath the Christmas tree when it became apparent we would not be sharing our nachos.
Marley and I perused a stack of vintage bridal magazines given to her by Mrs. Allen—she of the midi skirts and turtlenecks. We’d been looking at dresses all week. I opened my browser to wedding websites, in case I needed to steer Marley away from the ’80s puff sleeves dominating the ancient copy ofBrideshe had open in her lap.
“Do you think you’ll bring a date to the wedding?” Marley pretended to ask casually. She’d been low-key harping on my lack of love life since I’d come home.
“This again? C’mon, Marls. The wedding is in June. Pretty sure I can scrounge someone up if you insist on me bringing a plus-one. But I don’t think we need to worry about it six months in advance.”
Thinking about dates reminded me of the best one I’d ever been on, which led to thinking about a certain someone I’d been trying very hard not to think about.
Marley made a face as she thumbed all the way past some 1987 advice onHow to Satisfy Your Man on the Wedding Night.
“I’m not trying to start anything, Maureen. All I’m saying is you could put yourself out there more. If you wanted to.”
I stared at her. “I’m fine taking a break from the dating scene. Besides, who am I gonna go out with in Coleman Creek? Coach Hurley still single?” I laughed, picturing the gym teacher at Marley’s school, a sweet guy notorious for his football coach shorts and too-tight ringer tees.
“How about Kasen? You guys have been getting along better lately.”
“What!? Eww, gross.” I made a gagging motion at the mention of Marley’s ex-boyfriend. “That’s basically incest, since you guys were together so long. Are you that desperate to pair me up?”
“Exaggerate much?” She huffed. “We broke up a lifetime ago and I’d like to see him smile. He always looks so sad these days.”
Marley and Kasen had had a terrible breakup shortly after college. They didn’t speak for years afterward, but since he moved back to Coleman Creek last December, they’d formed a solid friendship. I marveled at how she’d opened herself up to love with James, even after Kasen hurt her. Marley was a romantic, like our mom had been—our mom who spent two decades mourning her husband.
“Well, I’m sorry Kasen’s sad, but that doesn’t mean I want to date him. I’m okay being single. My priority is figuring out my next career move. And a living situation. Unless you want me crashing at your place indefinitely?”
Marley studied me intently. “Sometimes it sounds like you’re considering not going back to Seattle.”
Her statement was more of a question, but not one I had an answer to yet.
“Haha,” I replied lamely.
She sighed. “You know you’re welcome to stay as long as you need to. And, as far as dating goes, I guess I’m just so happy with James, I want that happiness for you, too. It was you who convinced me to take a chance and give him a real shot. And you were right.”
“That’s because it was obvious James is completely in love with you. The only thing I’ve ever looked at that way is a really good burrito.”
She laughed but kept a one-track mind. “What about Oliver? He can’t make it to the party because of work, but he’ll be at the wedding.”
“James’s friend Oliver? The one who owns the bar?”
“Uh-huh.”
I huffed. “We had dinner with him the last time you guys visited Seattle. There was absolutely no chemistry. Nothing there.”
“Fine.” She paused. “Leo?”
“James’s brother? Jesus. Again with the incest. Hard pass. Besides, Miranda would probably kill me since they’re besties.”
Marley nodded. “They are pretty tight these days. But honestly, you’re so stubborn.” Popping a loose jalapeño in her mouth, she tried again. “Well, then, what about Will? He’ll be here for the party.”
She’d directed her eyes down at a magazine and missed me tensing up at Will’s name. I’d worked so hard this past year to play it cool, not to act weird when anyone mentioned him. I was trying to ignore the fact we would be in the same room tomorrow.
“Will and I don’t really click either.” I kept my voice even. “Seriously…Please. No more. I don’t need a matchmaker.” Before Marley could open her mouth to argue, I changed the subject. “How about you let me worry about my relationship status and you worry about deciding what kind of dress you want to get married in. We have to figure out if you’re going to order something online and have it tailored or if we need to go into Seattle for a shopping trip.” I angled my computer to show her an online retailer specializing in gently used vintage wedding dresses.
We continued looking through the magazines and websites while my head remained filled with unwanted thoughts about Will. As my own harsher edges had dulled over the past year, so had some of my animosity toward him. I could no longer pretend he was an asshole or a narcissist who’d gotten off on hurting me. James and Marley had shown me too much evidence to the contrary.
Part of me wanted to let him give his full explanation—the same part that wanted to find out why he’d never gotten married.
But another side of me resented his continued presence in my life. That side felt like shutting him down gave me the upper hand.
