The silence hung heavy on the line. Apparently, my resolve didn’t extend beyond an awkward hello.
Finally, Oliver said, “So, I’m guessing you got my texts.”
“Yeah.” I exhaled heavily, leaning against the cracked surface of my kitchen counter. Bambi peeked up from where he’d been snoozing on the couch and trotted over to me, nuzzling his snout into my hand. “Good boy.”
“Good boy? Either you called me after two years with the most bizarre opener ever, or you still have Bambi?”
I huffed. “It’s the dog.”
“Aww. I miss that pooch. Best doggo ever.”
My mind recalled the royal blue dog bed where Bambi had spent his days as the unofficial mascot for The Game Place. I ran my fingers between his ears, and he turned around to coax me into scratching his rump. “He still is.”
Another loaded silence rose between us.
Oliver broke the stalemate. “I’m guessing you didn’t call me to talk about Bambi.”
I gave myself a mental kick in the ass. “No. Sorry. I didn’t really mean to call and then go mute. This is…maybe a little harder than I thought.”
“I get it.”
“After Sunday, when I saw you, and then your texts, I needed to get some…clarity.”
“Okay?”
“It’s only been recently, like literally the past few weeks, that I’ve been thinking a lot about how some of the shit that happened when I was a kid might have affected how I perceive things.”
“With the business?” Oliver asked.
“Yes. Well, sort of. What I mean is that I’m realizing how quick I am to assume the worst about what other people think.”
I could practically hear Oliver scratching his head across the line. “James, I really want to understand, but I’m gonna need you to help me connect the dots here.”
I paused. “Basically, what it comes down to is that I’m at a place in my life where I’m finally starting to recognize how much I’ve held myself away from other people. There are reasons, of course. Stuff I’m probably not going to work out until I get my ass to the comfy end of a therapist’s couch. But the bottom line is—until recently—I’ve had trouble believing anyone could truly like me. Not deep down.”
“Shit. That’s heavy, James.” There was silence on Oliver’s end before he said, “It tracks, though. I remember freshman year. It took a while to get to know you.”
I thought of Oliver’s friendly offers to sit with him in the student cafeteria or have coffee together off campus. I’d kept saying no, and he’d never taken offense, had just kept the offers coming until one day I’d given in. He’d been the first friend I’d made since Will.
“That’s true. But meeting you and the rest of our crew in college helped.”
“So, let me see if I have this straight. You thought me wanting to change the business meant I didn’t like you?”
“It’s difficult to say. I just know that when you changed your mind and turned our family game place into a gamer bar, it felt like you were stabbing me in the back. And I went shields up, because that’s how I roll.”
“Until now?”
“Yes. Until now. I’m working on it.”
“Ah, dude. Changing things…was just business. Not personal. The first concept didn’t make money the way the bar does. And Steve was up my ass because he thought we were giving you too much leash. Especially after we instituted that code of conduct you insisted on, even if it resulted in fewer assholes coming in. He would have pulled the plug a lot sooner, but I was trying to make it work the way I knew you wanted it to.”
“Because we were friends.”
“Yeah. And I knew it meant a lot to you. I mean, you never offered the details, but I read between the lines that stuff in your past went tits up, and the puzzle concept was super important to you for sentimental reasons. But in the end, I agreed with Steve. We were barely treading water.”
“Cindy told me she talked to you, that you tried to convince her to get me to change my mind.”
“Well, that is…inaccurate.” He sounded pissed. “After you left, and wouldn’t take my calls, I’d hoped Cindy could help you see that I never meant to end our friendship. I suspected she wasn’t delivering the message when she came in trying to strategize with me to get you to give up the teaching. I told her I’d never do that. You’d been slapped around enough by what went down, and in the end, I figured I owed it to you to respect your wishes. I stopped calling.”
