Page 53 of Christmas Chemistry


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Stalking across the room, I cupped her face with my large palms. I dusted my thumbs lovingly across her cheekbones, gazing down before kissing her firmly. She let out a small sound of surprise. After a few moments, I relaxed and ran a hand down along her neck, moving my mouth reverently against hers. Her arms dropped to her sides, and the bags slipped from her fingers onto the floor.

Pulling back, I leveled her with a lava-hot stare.

“What was that for?” she breathed out, bemused and blinking, lips swollen from the press of my mouth.

“You changed my life, Marley.”

“What?”

“You changed my life. The way I think about things. It’s like I told you the night of my reunion. Everything is different—better—since I met you.”

“I’m not sure—”

“And you’re not going to stop me from saying it, because I know it’s true.”

“James—”

“I love you, Marley.”

Her mouth opened as my words hung in the air between us. An expression of intense joy flashed momentarily across her face before she schooled her features to a more sedate smile. She closed her eyes and reached for me, leaning her forehead into my chest as she gripped the edges of the coat I still wore. “Thank you for saying that, James. You mean so much to me.”

I exhaled, holding her in my arms for a few minutes. Waiting. But she didn’t say anything more.

The familiar creep of insecurity invaded me. Did she not feel the same way? Maybe she didn’t believe me?

Then I recalled the flicker of happiness she’d tamped down but had been unable to completely conceal. I hadn’t imagined it. Something had stopped her from letting my words sink in. Perhaps she needed time, or more evidence of my sincerity. We’d only been an official couple for three days, even if our friendship felt like a lifetime. I recognized my self-doubts for the horrible little joy thieves they’d been my entire life. No more.

Marley had told me a million times she believed in holiday magic. But we didn’t need magic.

We only needed what was real. And for the first time, I knew exactly what that was.

Chapter seventeen

Marley

Islidintothebooth across from Kasen the next night, thanking him for ordering me a soda.

“Sorry I’m late,” I said, removing my coat to reveal aWhere’s Waldo?sweatshirt, Waldo sporting a Santa hat instead of his usual beanie.

“No problem. Katy came by already. We spent a few minutes catching up while I ordered our drinks. It sounds like Mike got his parents settled and will be home soon. Probably a good thing because she seems stressed dealing with the kids on her own.”

“Yeah. They’re a handful.”

I spoke slowly. I’d been in a fog since James told me he loved me yesterday. Everything since then had been swimmy, like moving in slow motion. But I hadn’t canceled my agreed-upon meet-up with Kasen. I wanted to keep things as normal as possible until I could figure out what the heck to do next.

You changed my life, Marley.

I love you.

I thought I’d done a decent job in the moment of not letting on to James that his declaration had caused mild panic. He’d seemed to understand I wasn’t prepared to dissect our next steps. As a subject change, he’d given me the surprising information that Oliver had texted, that there might be the possibility of salvaging that friendship. We’d then spent the evening playing with the dogs in the backyard, enjoying the relatively mild weather. I’d pleaded with him to reveal what he’d be doing for the talent show on Friday. We’d discussed our classroom plans for the last week before break. Benign stuff. Just a new couple enjoying a night together talking about their lives—even as I low-key freaked out inside.

The knowledge that James wouldn’t have a teaching job come June added an unnerving urgency to the situation.

I looked at Kasen across the table. Talking about something he’d watched on TV last night. With him, the progression of our relationship had been so simple, almost automatic. One minute, we’d been high school sweethearts, the next, we were going to the same college and moving in together.

But then my mom had gotten sick. And he hadn’t chosen me.

“Are you okay?” Kasen’s concerned voice penetrated my brain.