Page 18 of The Outline


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“What?! There was no tension, dummy. You’re imagining things.”

Zach barked a laugh. “Who do you think you’re fooling, doll? I know you said there was something there, but damn, you way undersold that. The air was practically nuclear.”

I snorted delicately but didn’t argue. And as we stepped toward the patio, something compelled me to look back over my shoulder.

I sucked in a breath as my eyes met Renn’s, my body instantly captured in the headlights of his blatant stare. He regarded me, brazenly, as I walked away. There were at least twenty people between us, but his hot gaze reached me easily, and I shivered as the immediate sensation ofwantcaused a million different thoughts to barrel through my brain—none of them helpful. I wanted to stay in this moment. I wanted to keep reveling in the awareness of himlookingat me. I wanted to go over and lift the bottom of my dress, to place my palm over his hand as he ran a fingertip over the place where he’d inked my thigh. I wanted to touch him back.

I walked away.

An hour later,Zach and I were crawling on the 101. He and Teddy had hashed out the money thing to mutual satisfaction, and much as I’d suspected, Zach had made himself feel better by placing the winning bid on the football basket. He’d mercifully dropped the subject of Renn, recognizing my need to process, and instead distracted me with inane stories about some of the “rich fucks” he’d met at the party as we drove home.

“You want to stop for a burger or something?” Zach reached over to pat my knee.

I wasn’t interested in hitting up a drive-through, but I was absolutely looking forward to my stress-eating combo of choice.

“Do we have Diet Dr. Pepper and Fig Newtons at the apartment?”

“I’ve got you, doll.” Best friend code dictated Zach knew all my favorite coping mechanisms. “After you told me about your hot tattoo guy growling at you about being a grown man, I stocked up. I figured you’d need it eventually.”

Zach mumbled an occasional obscenity as he navigated the late-night traffic. I was grateful he drove since I was exhausted.

The evening had been a revelation.

I’d told Renn a little about Boston, but he’d only hinted at his own past. Tonight, I’d gotten more of the story. I’d seen him vulnerable. There was no way I could keep pretending he was just the cool, articulate artist I had fun talking to. Now he haddepth. And the more layers he peeled back, however unintentional, the more drawn in I became.Fuck!

It was hard to turn away. So. Hard. I’d never been as instantly affected by anyone as I’d been with Renn. And that thing Pete had said—that I’d brought out something in his nephew that’d been missing for years, basically confirming Renn’s own assertion—it had to mean something.Dammit, why now? Why him?Our connection was undeniable, but I had things I needed to reconcile in my life before I could think about romance. Figuring out a career, feeling comfortable in my skin again—these were my priorities. And, of course, I needed to be sure that the damage from the years of Henri’s cruel words had healed, or at least scarred over.

I woke up the next morning determined to regroup, going for a long run around the neighborhood, close to eight miles in perfectly cool and overcast weather. Zach had encouraged me to start running again a few weeks after I’d come back to LA. Initially, I’d been reluctant. I’d done cross-country in high school and even run a few marathons during college. I’d kept up the habit when I’d lived in Boston but had developed a complicated relationship with it when Henri had taken an interest.If you ran a little smarter, you might get more tone on your inner thighs. Why’d you cut that run short?But eventually, I’d realized I was running for myself again. It kept me sane, and reclaiming its association away from Henri was a huge win.

Clarity about the events at the party came with every footfall of my shoes on the pavement. I’d come away relatively unscathed—even though there had been drama. I’d engaged. I’d advocated. For myself and Renn. After the time I’d spent with Henri cowering in the background of my own life, that felt like momentum.

I was researching course catalogs online and having my second cup of coffee when Zach woke up. He made a face when he saw I was still in my running gear because it offended his personal ethos of showering right after working out.

But he didn’t comment on my sweaty sports bra, instead leading with, “Do you want to talk about last night?”

“What do you mean?” I kept my eyes fixed on my laptop.

“Don’t play dumb.” The weight of Zach’s inquiry pressed me into the tiny two-person IKEA table I sat at. “What was going on before I rolled up? Not just you and Renn. Who was that Pete guy?”

I gave Zach the longer version of what I’d already started telling him last night. Pete flirting with me. Running into Renn. Me calling Pete a dick. I hesitated a moment before talking about Renn’s dad, but since I was sure Zach wouldn’t say anything, I figured it was okay to share. I concluded by explaining that, according to Pete, Renn hadn’t been passionate about his work since Thomas died—not until my tattoo.

Zach looked at me sternly.

I blanched. “This is the first time in forever where an eventful night didn’t make me feel like I wanted to crawl back into my shell. Please don’t stare at me like something’s wrong.”

“Doll,” he exhaled slowly. “This is not my ‘something’s wrong’ face. Something is obviously very right. But you keep dancing around what that is exactly.”

Fun Zach had left the building. The serious motherfucker who had once knocked out an unruly bar patron with a single punch stared back at me.

“You’re talking about Renn?” I ground out slowly.

“Renn—as in the smoking-hot guy who eye-fucked you for ten minutes as we left the party last night—yeah, I’m talking about him.”

“I don’t think we need to revisit that. Nothing has changed. I’m not in a place to think about relationships right now.”

“Doll, last I heard, you were going to just crush on Batman and give yourself some time to see what happens while he finishes up your tattoo.”

“And?”