After Anson left that night, we went to bed. Everyone piled into my bedroom, and we slept together in the giant bed. It was a comfortable night. I snuggled into Fox’s chest with Enzo’s arms around me while Cole and Ethan fought over the blankets, and Cole wiggled his feet, to which Cotton kept attacking.
It was Monday now, and I was staring at myself in the mirror in my bedroom. I’d taken great care in using a lot of makeup and setting it to ensure the bruises were covered, but I still looked like hell.
I couldn’t miss, though. I’d been out a week already. All I wanted was for my life to go back to normal. If anyone asked, I’d tell them I tripped over Cotton and fell down some stairs.
I cringed at having to make up a lie about this.
The other option was to say what happened and risk others getting involved. That was the shitty part of everything. When you lived this life, the dangerous men took care of things. Cops had no control. I’d learned as much over the last year.
“You look beautiful,” Cole said, coming into the room and standing behind me as I stared at myself in the floor-length mirror.
“I look like hell,” I answered back.
“Never.” He wound his arms around my midsection and bent to rest his head on my shoulder. “I got you something.”
I turned in his arms and stared up at him. “You did?”
“Mhm.” He tucked a red curl behind my ear. He’d been buying me a lot of things lately. Clothes. Shoes. Bags. I think it was his way of showing his love.
“You don’t have to buy me things,” I said, brushing my lips against his. I hadn’t had sex with anyone but Enzo since getting home. I knew the guys were treating me like I was going to break and didn’t want to push me on it, considering how awful my experiences had been the last several years. I appreciated that, and honestly, I was grateful for the break to get my head together. I hadn’t heard from Anson since he’d left our house after dinner. He’d been quiet after playing a few minutes with Cotton. I hated that he was so withdrawn. Even at Matteo’s, he was.
He reminded me of the guys with how he didn’t just come out and tell me what was wrong. I hated guessing games.
Today, we’d spend together, though. To say I was nervous was an understatement. It was like the first time all over again.
Cole took my hand and led me back to the bed. We sat together, and he handed me a small velvet box.
I took it and opened the lid to find a beautiful pair of diamond earrings inside.
“Oh wow,” I murmured. “Cole, these are beautiful.”
“Yeah?” His voice wobbled. “Do you like them?”
I nodded. “I love them. You didn’t have to?—“
He pressed his finger to my lips. “I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to. You’re my princess, Rosebud. I want you to have diamonds. Someday, you’ll be the mother of my children. I will do anything for you and our babies. I don’t want you to forget.” His voice trailed off.
“I won’t forget. Why do you think I’d ever forget?” I watched as he looked down at his hands in his lap.
“We’re just fucking up on repeat. I’m scared you’ll leave us,” he said, his voice barely audible. “It’s one of the reasons I want us to have the baby. Then you’ll stay.”
“Cole.” I squeezed his hand. “A baby isn’t the answer. You know that, right? I said I want to do it, but you need to understand just how dangerous it is to bring a child into our world.”
His head snapped up, and his blue eyes flashed as he stared at me. “Are you having second thoughts? That you don’t want to try now?” The hurt was evident in both his voice and face.
I shrugged and looked away, my throat aching from trying not to cry.
“Look at me,” he said, turning my head back to him. “What’s going on? A-Are you backing out on me now? I-I thought we’d agreed?—”
“Someone tried to kidnap and rape me,” I said, my voice shaking. “Again, Cole. I’m just saying I need some time right now. I’m not saying no. I’m only saying I need to sort through these new feelings and fears. That’s it. Maybe I’ll feel better in a few weeks.”
He let out a shaky breath. “This just keeps fucking happening to us. It’s like I’m not meant to be a dad.” He looked away from me, a muscle thrumming along his jaw. “It’s not fucking fair.”
“Cole—“
He got up and shook his head. “No. I-I’m just going to go. I’m meeting with Vander Veer this morning with Enzo.”
“What?” I frowned and got to my feet. “You’re meeting with that man with the horrible daughter?”
