“You alright?” His voice is softer than it was when he was talking to Pavel, soothing my raw nerves like a cool breeze. As I nod, he lets out a breath. “Good.”
He looks to his right and I follow, seeing Nadya and Alexei having a quiet argument. I want to say goodbye to her and apologize to Alexei for all the trouble we’ve caused him, but I’m terrified of hanging around and chancing Pavel cornering me alone.
“Can we go home?” I ask, slipping my hand into Andrei’s and twining our fingers together.
He presses his forehead to mine as he nods, squeezing my hand.
Chapter 14
Blair
My head falls back against the seat as I watch Andrei drive, admiring the confident way he navigates around the unfamiliar area. Streetlights flash overhead, illuminating his strong profile every few seconds, each one giving me a glimpse of things I’ve never allowed myself to notice before.
Flash. I watch his long lashes as he blinks.
Flash. He’s let his stubble grow out since the funeral.
Flash. I wonder what it would feel like if I kissed him again.
“I can feel you staring,zolotse.”
I scrunch my face as he looks at me for a moment before turning his attention back to the road.
“What does that mean?” It isn’t the first time he’s called me that. I don’t think it’s an insult, but I’d like to know for sure before I get used to it.
He sits up straighter, his brows drawn together. “You don’t speak Russian?” He sounds baffled, and it’s almost enough to make me laugh. I shake my head, refusing to feel shame over it.
“Why not?”
“No real reason.” I shrug. The lie tastes bitter, but there’s no reason to pick at an old wound.
After I met Andrei and Daniil, I tried to use a language learning app to teach myself Russian. I’d even asked Daniil to help me practice early on in our relationship, but he refused, saying it was better if I didn’t know.
At first, I thought he was trying to protect me from overhearing anything that would get me in trouble if things ended up going sideways. Now, I know he just wanted to have some part of his life that I was permanently shut out of.
What was the point of learning when Daniil, the only person I would have spoken it with, was so against it? I gave up almost as soon as I started.
Andrei pulls to a stop at a red light, turning his full focus onto me, like I’m a puzzle that he can’t figure out.
“Does Niko speak Russian?”
“Of course he does. Daniil and Mila have been teaching him since he was born. Hell, Mila almost exclusively speaks to him in Russian.” Probably because it’s a great way to exclude me, but, hey, I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she’s doing it because she’s a big fan of immersive learning.
“Do you want to learn?”
“It’d be nice.” I shrug. “I’d like to help Niko learn, but the fact that I don’t know how to speak Russian isn’t keeping me up at night, either.”
His jaw flexes as the light changes, and he eases back into traffic. The drone of tires on the road and the soft purr of the engine wash over us, filling the space with a comfortable white noise that allows me to relax as I watch him. For as stressed outas I was on the way to the club, now the journey is soothing as Andrei navigates toward familiar streets.
When we got in the car, he ditched his jacket and rolled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows, something I’m grateful for as I watch the muscles in his forearms flex while he drives. Each movement is strong and confident as he turns the wheel, the veins in his hands captivating my attention.
What would those hands feel like against me? Would he be soft and gentle? Or would he be strong and domineering? Is Andrei the kind of man that takes what he wants, not giving me even a moment to second-guess myself, and only let me feel what he wants me to? Or would he be content to lie back and let me set the pace, let me decide how he gets to touch me?
I bite the inside of my cheek as I shift in my seat.
I need to wait until I’m alone to ask myself those sorts of questions.
“I could teach you, if you’d like,” he offers, tearing me out of my daydream. He doesn’t even blink, but it feels like he just shifted the foundation I’m standing on.
