"So what are you saying? That something badalwayshappens to you at the holidays?"
I replied with another shrug that she could take however she wanted.
Her eyes filled with sympathy. "Gosh, I'm so sorry."
I didn’t want her pity. I didn't need it either. I wasn't even sure why I'd mentioned it. This was something I never talked about, not even with my sister.
Instead, I kept my head down until the blasted season was over.
Sure, I bought Christmas presents because it would be a dick move not to. And yeah, this year, I'd had the house decorated because it wasn't the fault of my neighbors that Christmas wasn't my thing.
And hey, I'd even given out Christmas bonuses at the office in spite of the fact that Grampkin had blown a small fortune on the holiday fiasco in July. It wasn't because I liked Christmas. It was because from my own childhood, I knew what it was like to be short of money when the holidays rolled around.
But all of this – the presents, the decorations, the bonuses – they weren't for me. They were to keep the misery from spreading because I wasn't a vindictive asshole, in spite of what Lexie might think.
I told her, "Forget it. It's not a big deal."
From the look on her face, she wasn't buying it. "Youdorealize that curses aren't real, right?"
"It's not a curse," I said. "It's a pattern. Big difference."
She gave me a wary look. "So what happened last year?"
"Nothing."
She brightened. "See?'
"Because," I continued, "I didn't let it."This was true.At the holidays, I kept mostly to myself and did just enough gift-giving and what-not to not spoil things for anyone else.
I didn't need the holidays.Hell, I didn't evenlikethe holidays. Or rather, I hadn't liked them in years – not until Lexie had come along and made me see things differently.
Andthat, it seemed, had been my first mistake in a long while.
As Lexie stared up at me, I could almost see the wheels turning in her head and the exact moment they stopped turning because her eyes narrowed and she took a single step backward. "Wait a minute. Are you trying to distract me again?"
Was she serious?
When I answered with only a scoff, she continued. "Like twirling your pen in your office." Her tone grew accusing. "You got me thinking about something else because you didn't want to answer my question."
She was wrong.
And she was right.
It was true that back in the office I'd been trying to distract her, thinking that once she calmed down, we could get to the bottom of whatever rumors she'd been hearing.
But now, in hindsight, I was seeing the flaw in my plan. My feelings for Lexie – they'd been a clever trap, something to make me let down my guard and forget that Christmas wasn't for guys like me.
Yeah, she'd hated me when I'd been her boss. That, I could deal with. But to hear her opinion of me now,aftershe'd gotten to know me, well, it was the slap of reality that I'd needed.
We were done.
I gave her a hard look. "So it's a 'no' on the name then?"
She looked offended that I'd even ask. "I'm not gonna rat anyone out."
"Why?" I laughed. "Because you're loyal?"
"I guess."
