"Which is?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"No," she said. "Tell me."
I shook my head. "No, I mean literally. It's nothing."
She gave me a doubtful look. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"
My voice was softer now. "They aren't you, Chloe." I looked into her eyes, trying to make her understand. "If I'd had any idea you were coming over,anyat all, I'd have made everyone leave. Shit, I did make everyone leave. The only person I wanted there was you. Don't you get that?"
Her gaze softened. I let out a breath, hoping, waiting. And yeah, maybe praying a little, too.
But then, she drew back, pulling her hand out of mine. "I don't know what to think. Is that how you operate? Just go from girl to girl, doing whatever with them until the next one shows up?"
Yes. It was like that.
Until her.
Still, she wasn't being fair. All this time, through all the walks, through all my questions –stillunanswered, by the way – she'd given me no sign she was even interested, or even available.
I was a lot of things, but not a cheater. I mean, how could I cheat if there was no one to cheaton? Ihadto make her see that. Through gritted teeth, I said, "I didn't know you were showing up."
She made a sound of frustration. "But even if I hadn't –" She shook her head, not bothering to finish.
"Alright," I said, trying to keep my voice level, "take Brittney. You think I'm using her? Is that it?"
"A little," she muttered.
"Fine, I'm not gonna argue. But let me ask you something. How about Brittney? You think she's using me?"
She glanced away. "You mean, like for sex?"
I made a scoffing sound, thinking of Brittney and the countless girls just like her. "You think it's just about sex?"
In front of me, Chloe gave something like a shrug.
I opened my arms to encompass the neighborhood that surrounded us. I heard the disgust in my own voice as I said, "For this, to hang out here, to be seen with someone who's supposedly famous. To go to the hottest clubs and get inside without a wait. To get her ass kissed by people who don't know any better, and to feel good about herself for nothing more than taking off her clothes."
Even to me, it was an ugly picture.
From the look on Chloe's face, she thought so, too. "I don't want to hear this," she said.
Too bad. As much as I cared for her, she didn't get to back away now. I gave her a long look. "But you asked, so you're gonna."
Chapter 37
On the sidewalk, Chloe stiffened. Okay, she didn't like what I was saying. I got that. But just becauseshe'dbeen living a sheltered life, it didn't I had. I was a realist. Unlike her, I had to be.
But for whatever messed up reason, I was pretty sure I loved her. Ihadto make her understand. "With girls like Brittney," I said, "it's never just sex, but that doesn't mean it's anything good."
"Yeah, well," she mumbled, "I guess it's none of my business."
"Yes. It is." I leaned closer. "Because I want tomakeit your business."
Near our feet, Chucky whined, straining at the leash to keep moving.
Sorry, Chucky. Not this time.
