"C'mon, this is serious," I said. "You know where my license was? In my purse. Right here in this house. And I wasn't even home."
"And Lawton put him up to it?"
"Well, no," I admitted. "But still, the guy's his brother. They're related."
She gave me a look. "Just like you and your Mom are related?"
"Hey, I'm not my Mom."
"Oh. I see."
"No," I said. "I don't think you do."
"So lemme ask you this. Does Lawton evenknowhis brother broke in?"
"Yeah, he knows."
"So Lawton was the one who told you about it?"
"No. I just overheard them talking, that's all."
"Oh," she said. "So you were eavesdropping."
"No. It wasn't like that."
She shrugged. "If you say so."
"Jeez, what's up with you today?"
"Nothing." She crossed her arms. "If you can't handle a little truth, it's not my problem."
"Yeah? Well, maybe instead of judging me, you should look in the mirror."
"What's that supposed to mean?" she said.
"You know what started all this? Our little birthday party, with that stupid movie poster."
In the poster, a gag gift designed by Erika herself, Lawton had been shirtless with beads of sweat glistening on his bare chest and a woman's arms encircling him from behind.
That fictional woman had my face, just like the fictional movie had its own title,Riding the Rastor. The whole thing had been a joke, right until Lawton saw the poster and assumed it was real.
"So now my poster's stupid?" she said.
"No," I said. "Sorry, I didn't mean that. Honest."
"Well, what did you mean?"
"It's just that between the poster and that stupid sex tape you brought over, well, Lawton went a little nuts when he found everything. He thought I was this crazy stalker chick looking to make a porno on the sly."
"Well,excuseme for wanting to celebrate your birthday." She stood. "You know what? I really don't have time for this crap. Where's my keys?"
"Crap?" I said.
"Do you have my keys or what?"
"Oh, sothat'syour big problem? You can't find your keys? Poor you."
"What'sthatsupposed to mean?"
