"You just are."
"As flattered as I am," she said, "there's something you need to hear."
"What?"
"Alright." She leaned forward in her chair. "I hate to tell you this, but you brought a lot of this on yourself."
Chapter 27
I stared over at her. So here, I'd spilled my guts, expecting a shoulder to cry on. But what I got was a kick to the teeth.
"Gee," I said, "maybe I should've called Loretta. At least whensheinsults me, it's not exactly a surprise."
"Yeah but Loretta's a bitch. Me? I'm just delightfully honest."
"I wouldn’t exactly call it delightful," I said.
"Want to hear my theory?" she said.
"Probably not."
"Too bad," she said. "That agreement with the Parkers? That's just your excuse."
"For what?" I said.
"Do I seriously need to spell this out?"
I crossed my arms. "Apparently."
"Alright, admit it. You liked the fact he thought this was your house."
"Oh shut up."
"So you passed the test. Congratulations, you fit in. You belong. Yippee for you."
"I don't fucking believe this."
"Hey, I'm not judging you." She grinned. "Last weekend? I told this guy I was a stripper. He totally got off on it."
"You know what?" I said. "You're not as smart as you think you are. Did I tell you about Lawton's brother?"
"What about him?"
"Apparently, he has this thing for breaking and entering."
Her eyebrows furrowed. "How do you know?"
"Because," I said, "he broke into here once."
She looked around. "So what'd he do? Make off with the TV? Raid the liquor cabinet?" She waggled her eyebrows. "Panty-raid?"
"Oh stop it. Technically, he didn't steal anything."
"So what'd he do? Break a window, smash a door? What?"
"No, it was nothing like that. But hedidlook at my license."
"Oh, heaven forbid. I hope you called the FBI."
