I didn't need to ask which disk. Obviously, he meant the one he'd seen lying on the Parkers' kitchen table. The label on the case, handwritten in big, black letters, was a dead giveaway – Rastor Sex Tape.
I was still mad as hell about what he'd done, but the story he'd just relayed was so sickening that my heart went out to him.
My voice was quiet. "Erika brought it over. You know, for my birthday. She didn't know that you and I were together. She thought it would be funny." I shrugged. "You know, because we're neighbors."
I blew out a breath. "But you and Iweretogether. At least I thought we were."
"We were," he said. "I still wanna be."
He was making this so damn hard. His behavior had been inexcusable, or so I thought. But then what does he do? He gives me an excuse that, well, actually made a lot of sense. How would I feel in his shoes?
Oh crap. He'd asked me about the tape, hadn't he?
"Anyway," I said, "it just seemed wrong to watch it. Plus, well, I guess I didn't reallywantto watch you doing that with anyone else."
At this, he smiled. A real smile. It seemed like forever since I'd seen one.
"Yeah?" he said.
That smile, his voice, the things he said – I was falling. Everything was happening too fast. I needed time to think.
"So with Brandy," I said, "you two ended up having sex anyway, and she taped it?"
His smile faded. "Not exactly. This one night, outside the club, I was supposed to meet her there at closing time. Get a coffee or something. So I pull up to the back entrance, and she's already there." His voice hardened. "And she's crying."
"Why?" I asked.
"Well at first, it was hard to get the story out of her. But from what I did get, a couple of guys jumped her in the parking lot. Tore at her uniform, and tried to–" He paused. "Well, you know."
"Oh my God," I said. "Did they ever find them?"
He gave a bark of laughter. "No. And you wanna know why?"
I nodded. "Why?"
"Because they didn't exist."
Chapter 23
I tried to digest what he'd just told me. "What do you mean they didn't exist?" I said.
"It was all a big show," he said. "The torn clothes, the fake tears. By then, she knows me pretty good. Especially with this friend of mine feeding her information. And she knows I can get a little intense when people I love are hurt–"
I swallowed. "So you loved her?"
He shrugged. "I dunno. Not like that. It's not that she was unattractive—"
"You already said that."
"Alright, you want the truth?" he said. "I didn't see her like that."
"Why not?"
"The truth? There was thisothergirl, someone I'd met maybe a few months earlier, before everything started to hit. And I couldn’t get this girl out of my head."
Another one? God, how many girls were there? I felt my jaw clench. "You're changing the subject," I said. "What about Brandy?"
Lawton hesitated a half second and then continued. "So that night, after this so-called attack, she wouldn't let me do a damn thing about it."
