Page 61 of Something True


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"For how long?"

"What?"

Through gritted teeth, I said, "Howlongwould've you waited?" I gave a bark of laughter. "Lemme guess. Nine months?"

His jaw tightened. "You think I didn'twantto ask?"

"I don't know. Did you?"

"Hell yeah, I wanted to ask."

"So?" I said. "Why didn't you?"

He glanced away. "I didn't want you to think it was the only reason."

But obviously, itwasthe only reason, because he wasn't saying otherwise. I was mortified at the thought of asking him, and yet, Ihadto know.

I asked, "Was it?"

He shoved a hand through his hair. "Fuck."

"You know what? Forget I asked."

I lunged forward, intending to move past him. But as I did, he reached out and practically yanked me into his arms. "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don’t leave." His grip tightened. "Not like that."

As a profession of love and devotion, it was utterly lacking. He was still holding me, but the embrace felt wrong. His arms were stiff, and his stance was rigid.

Feeling suddenly claustrophobic, I yanked myself out of his grip and stared at up at him. The pantry felt way too small, and I was having a hard time breathing.

We were standing so close, I had to crane my neck to stare up at him. "Just tell me," I said. "What do you want? Are you sorry you proposed? Do you want to take it back? Is that it?"

He gazed at me with anguished eyes. "I never said that."

I waited for him to say more.

He didn't.

I made a scoffing sound. "Well, that was informative."

Again, Cassie's words rang in my memories.You'll be crying before you know it.

I had to wonder, was Cassie the type to say those four awful words.I told you so.I'd never heard her say it before, but soon, she'd have the perfect opportunity.

If it weren't so pathetic, I might have laughed. I recalled all of the other points she'd made – that until Joel's surprise proposal, he'd been gone for weeks with zero contact; that he'd walked away once, which meant he was capable of doing it again; that I had no idea where he'd been or what he'd been doing.

But that last part wasn't true. He'd been with Cal, a guy I'd actually met.

So Cassie wasn't right about everything.

Was I grasping at straws? Probably.

In front of me, Joel reached for my hand. "I'm not gonna back out, if that's what you think."

I stared up at him. "Back out?"