Page 60 of Something True


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Chapter 26

Standing in the kitchen, the silence stretched out between us. He lifted his gaze to mine and gave me a look that I couldn’t quite decipher.

Around us, the house felt eerily big and unnaturally quiet. Under the weight of his stare, I had no idea what to say.

Well, at least, he wasn't looking at my stomach anymore.

As we stood there, watching each other with wary eyes, scenes from the last few days raced through my mind. I recalled that final elevator ride with Luna. For a minute there, she'd obviously assumed that I was pregnant. But I'd set her straight on that. Hadn't I?

Suddenly, the kitchen felt way too hot. I recalled Joel showing up out of the blue and proposing right there in my open doorway, like he'd been far too eager to wait. At the time, I'd chalked it up to unbridled love.

Obviously, I'd been wrong.

He was still holding that stupid bottle of champagne. I had a sudden urge to rip it out of his hands and fling it against the far wall. But I didn't. Instead, I reached out and gripped the bottom of the bottle. I gave it a tug until he finally let go.

I set the bottle on the counter and let out a long, shaky breath. We wouldn't be needingthatanymore. Obviously, neither one of us felt like celebrating.

Maybe Cassie was right. Maybe Iwouldbe crying before it was all over. But I wasn't going to cry now, not if I could help it.

I took a deep, steadying breath and said, "I'm not pregnant, if that's what you're thinking."

Again, his gaze drifted to my stomach.

I felt my jaw clench. "Just stop it, okay?" My voice sounded sharp, even to my own ears. "There's nothing to see." With a muttered curse, I turned away. I felt like such a fool. I should've realized this. Or, at the very least, I should've known that my fairy tale ending was just a sham, based on a lie, whether intentional or not.

Looking to do something,anything, to keep myself from crying, I yanked the remaining groceries from the plastic bags and started putting the items away. As I moved, I felt Joel's gaze following me around the kitchen, haunting my steps like a dark apparition.

He still hadn't said anything, and maybe that was for the best. After all, what could he say?

Of course, I could think a few things that might've helped – starting with "That wasn't the reason I proposed" and ending with, "It doesn't change a single thing."

But he didn’t say either of those things, and I guess I couldn’t blame him. But Icouldblame Luna. What on Earth had she been thinking? Even if Iwerepregnant, didn'tIdeserve the chance to tell him?

Putting away the final item, a lone can of pizza sauce, I found myself deep inside the pantry, staring at the barren shelves. Before my parents had died, the shelves had been nearly overflowing with all kinds of things that I'd taken utterly for granted.

Now, I had a few cans of soup, two boxes of pasta, and the lone can of pizza sauce. I'd been planning to use it tonight. But now, I wasn't remotely hungry, and from what I suspected, neither was Joel.

Out of groceries to put away, I just stood there, staring at the barren shelves. I don't know how long I was standing there before I heard movement behind me. I didn't even turn to look.

Still facing the back wall, I said, "If you want to leave tonight, I totally understand."

His voice was quiet. "Is that what you want?"

"Honestly? I don't know what I want." Finally, I turned to face him. His face was pale, and his eyes were dark. I sucked in a ragged breath. "And I guess I don't know what you want either."

This was his cue to say that he still wanted me, that nothing had changed, and that he proposed not because he felt hehadto, but because hewantedto.

He said nothing.

I clamped my lips shut and waited for some sort of response. None came, and as the silence stretched on, I felt my frustration grow. Finally, I blurted out, "If that's what you thought, why didn't you say something?"

Again, his gaze drifted to my stomach.

Oh, for God's sake.

I made a sound of annoyance. "Seriously, you've been here for what? Two days? And you never thought to ask?"

His gaze returned to mine. "I was waiting for you to tell me."